


Scars Don't Heal When You Keep Cutting

by OohYayChicken



Series: sdhwykc [1]
Category: Asking Alexandria
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anxiety, Bullying, Child Abuse, Eating Disorders, M/M, new and improved, this story might currently be my most triggering fic tbh, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-10
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-03-29 20:18:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 37
Words: 40,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3909277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OohYayChicken/pseuds/OohYayChicken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>title from Asking Alexandria's "I Was Once, Possibly, Maybe, Perhaps A Cowboy King"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I couldn't take my eyes off him since I first lay them on him in the first place. He was perfect. His hair, his eyes, his lip rings, all of what I can see about him is cute, and I already mentioned  _perfect_. He's also really quiet and shy, I’ve noticed. He came in, sat down, and has been staring at his lap ever since. He's-

"Mr. Worsnop, did you hear me?" our teacher, Ms. King's kind voice asks, snapping me out of my thoughts of the boy, who I'll call Cutie until I learn his name. Hey, he's fucking beautiful, why not? I glance at Ms. King's young, smiling face before glancing at Cutie, who was staring at me from the corner of his eye.  _How cute_.

"No, ma'am, could you please repeat what you said?" I ask politely, a few of my classmates giggling at me. I could feel Cutie’s gaze on me as I spoke.

Ms. King shakes her head disapprovingly, but still wears that comforting smile and giggles. "The class is to complete the worksheet Aaron just handed out, but you may work with one other person," she answers me before telling the class to get partners if they wanted them. I glance at the worksheet that lay at my desk. What the fuck… I don’t know how to do any of this shit…

I roll my eyes at the paper before glancing over at Cutie, who just sat there, twirling a pencil with the tip digging into his finger (which looked like it would hurt but okay). He's not looking for a partner, so I might as well go to him. Hey, he might love having someone go up to him and asking him if they could be his partner, I know I would if I was in his position.

I grab a pencil and my worksheet and head over to him. I don't think he noticed me approaching, or even expected someone to go up to him, because he flinches when I tap his shoulder. He quickly turns to face me, horror swimming in his beautiful eyes. I offer a sad smile, knowing that I scared the crap out of him. Wonderful first impression, huh?

He starts to look at me funny, and I realize I’ve been staring. I clear my throat as I feel my cheeks redden slightly.

"Uh...Would you like to work together?" I ask sheepishly, praying for a positive reaction. His cheeks turn a cute shade of light pink as he stares up at me with wide eyes. He finally nods hesitantly and turns back around in his seat. I smile wide as I steal the chair from the empty desk next to Cutie's and sit in it. I watch him for a few seconds as he goes back to playing with his pencil.

"I'm Danny," I say, earning a small flinch from him again. He glances at me quickly before looking down at his lap.

"B-Benjamin. But you can just call me Ben," he speaks quietly. His voice was so quiet I almost missed it, but just enough for me to hear it well enough to know how beautiful it is.

"Alright, Ben! Well, let's start now and get it done?" I ask him with a huge smile. It’s then that I notice that he didn’t only tell me his nickname, but his actual birth name too. It shouldn’t make me feel so happy, but I’m on top of the fucking world.

Cutie- well,  _Ben_ , nods his head shyly and gets started.

Since I didn't really know how to do it, he showed me how to do it. I told him I knew how to do it after he showed me how to do the first three, but really, I started looking over at his paper. I didn't want to bother him any more than I might’ve. We eventually finished every problem, and I collect both of our papers.

"I'll bring yours up for you," I tell him when he gives a confused look and walk away to Ms. King and give her the worksheets. She offers me the biggest smile anyone's ever given me. It kinda confused me, but her response told me why.

"Thank you for working with Mr. Bruce! I think he needed a friend," she says quietly so the rest of the class didn't hear. I smile back at her. Well, all it really did was widen. I haven’t stopped smiling ever since I started talking to Ben.

"It was really no problem at all!" I chuckle before going back to Ben, Ms. King's words scampering through my mind.

_'Thank you for working with Mr. Bruce!'_

I know his last name, baby! Fuck yeah!

_'I think he needed a friend.'_

Wait… He has no friends?

My smile falters.

But he's so precious, who wouldn't want to be his friend? I mean, he's very quiet, yes, but that's not a reason not to talk to the poor thing. They could be missing out on so much because they decided not to talk to him because of him being so shy. Mmph, their loss. They won’t have the opportunity to say they have the hottest best friend ever while I will.

I sit in the seat next to Ben and stare at him with a cheeky smile. He glances at me before looking back to the pencil between his fingers.

"Um...you're making me feel...uncomfortable," he speaks quietly.

"Sorry, bad habit of mine,-" I apologize, looking away for a second so I don't freak him out any more than I already have. I look back to him and ask him one of those questions that are said to be annoying:

"Why are you so quiet?"

He looks up at me slightly and we make eye contact. It was as if he was searching for something.

"You won't judge me...will you?" he asks shyly. I shake my head.

“Hey, I’m not one to judge anyone,” I smile at him.

He stares at me for a few more seconds before he finally answers.

"I don't trust people, so I try to keep to myself if I can," he answers quietly. I nod my head understandingly.

"You trust me, though, right?"

"Um, I think," he answers, not making eye contact. I raise an eyebrow.

"You think? Why think?" I ask, desperately wanting to gain his trust.

"It's...nothing, don't worry about it."

I sigh but leave it alone anyways. He doesn't wanna talk about it, I guess I won't pester him about it. But I do ask him another question, probably another annoying one people like me ask:

"What do you think of me?" I feel awkward as soon as the words slip from my lips. I feel a bit of heat rise to my cheeks as I look anywhere but him.

" _Wha?_ "

Shit shit shit and shit. He probably thinks I'm a creepy pedophile!

Even though we’re like the same age but okay…

“You’re just fine, mate," he says, causing me to blush a bit.

"Ah, nice," I say awkwardly. I risk a glance at him. He’s twirling the pencil still. He suddenly flinches and drops the pencil in his lap. Before I can say anything, a drop of crimson oozes from his fingertip and he quickly moves it to his mouth, sealing his lips around the wound.

“Do you need a bandaid?” I ask him, but he shakes his head no. We sit silently, until he actually speaks up.

“So… You new to this school?” Ben asks as he looks to me, removing his finger from his mouth. I smile, happy to know that  _he_  is the one who started this conversation.

“Yeah. Do you think you could show me to my next class? I have no idea where it is,” I chuckle.

“Of course you wouldn’t. Let me see your schedule,” he tells me, and I pull it out of my bag and hand it to him. He looks it over and nods.

“I’ll get you there.”

<><><><><><><><>

Hey guys! So, this is my Brusnop that I wrote like over a year ago. I read it and cringed way too many times so I decided to rewrite it! :) So yeah, it should be way better now :) Thanks guys!


	2. Chapter 2

I walk into the cafeteria, Ben right next to me with his head held low. I wasn't gonna be eating school lunch, so I just brought a granola bar for lunch. I'd eat it as soon as I figured out where to sit-  
  
"Hey, new kid! Worsnop!" someone shouts from the table closest to the door I was still standing at. He's in my math class, Ms. King's class. In fact, all the boys at that table are in that class. That's probably how they know my name, considering the fact that Ms. King calls us by our last names. I turn to Ben for a second, his head still down and staring at his shoes.  
  
"Wait here for a second," I tell him and walk over to the waving teenagers at the table before he could even reply. The boys at the table smile huge at me when I approach. They gave me weird vibes, but I ignored them and carried on. Shouldn’t judge someone before you get to know them.  
  
"You can sit here if you want," the one that called me over offers. See? He’s nice so far! I smile and nod, not forgetting Ben, of course.  
  
"Okay, but if I sit here, my friend is too," I let them know, motioning towards where Ben should be so they know who I'm talking about. Their smiles falter, but they murmur to each other about it anyways. They chuckle and smirk through the conversation, and they look back at me.  
  
"Sure, he can sit too," a different kid welcomes Ben to the table with me. I smile my thanks to them and walk over to Ben, who was still awkwardly standing where I left him. I grab his wrist, but he flinches and yanks it away and snaps his head up to look at me, biting his lip. His eyes meet mine as I stare at him, confused and concerned  
.  
"Sorry, mate. It's just me," I say calmly and motion towards the table. "We're sitting over there." He glances over my shoulder, his face goes pale before furiously shaking his head. I sigh sadly. "Come on, Ben, you can sit on the corner next to me if you want to! You don't have to say anything to them!" I try to convince him. He stays silent for a little while before nodding his head. I smile and let him follow me to the table. Of course I’m curious about why he was so reluctant, but I won’t let that bother me right now. I can just ask him later (if I even remember) since it’d be kinda rude to ask right in front of them.  
  
I sit at the table with Ben next to me in the corner like I offered. I pull my granola bar out of my pocket and glance over at Ben, noticing his lack of food. Probably doesn't have money to buy school food, huh? I guess losing half the bar wouldn't kill me. I rip the wrapper off and break my snack in half and offer him one. He glances at the food I hold out to him, then at my face. He shakes his head, telling me he didn't want it.  
  
"Come on, Ben, Just eat it! I broke it so you could have some!" I chuckle at him and shove the snack under his nose. He shakes his head and pushes it away.  
  
“You eat it, Danny, it’s yours,” he tells me quietly. I sigh.  
  
"Please? For me? I don't share food, but here I am, offering it to you!"  
  
With a quiet sigh, he takes it. I smile triumphantly as the boy next to me taps my shoulder. I turn to him with a smile.  
  
"Yeah?" I ask him, a bit excited about talking to someone new. He glances past me for a second, then back at me.  
  
"I'm DJ."  
  
"Hey, what's up?"  
  
"That kid, Ben," he says, disgust clear in his voice. I raise an eyebrow and replace my smile with a frown, not happy at all by the way he mentions Ben's name. However, he continues, "If you really care about your reputation, shouldn't hang out with him. He's a freak." I glare at him. We just met and he’s already pissed me off.  
  
"Fuck off," I growl at him through gritted teeth. "there's nothing wrong with him. There's something fucked up with you if you think otherwise, you fucking cunt." DJ rolls his eyes and turns back to his food, muttering something before eating another bite of the unknown slob on his plate. I try to clear the image of the greenish-brown substance with smaller yellowish stuff in it as I turn to Ben to check on him. There's no telling if he heard what DJ said or not. DJ spoke quietly, but still loud enough for Ben to hear. I notice that Ben's just sitting there, scratching something sticky off his nails. I also see that he's already eaten his half of the granola bar, while I haven't even taken a bite out of mine. I shrug and shove the whole thing in my mouth. It hurts as I swallow it. Looks like I didn't really chew it enough, and big chunks of oats and chocolate scraping and scratching it’s way down your throat is not at all a stroll through the park.  
  
"Danny, what did he say?" Ben asks quietly after a while, not looking up at me. I sigh. I guess he didn't hear him, which is good, he just heard me.  
  
"Don't worry about it, I took care of it," I say calmly. I don't want to tell him. It would hurt his feelings. I just know it would.  
  
"Why can't you just tell me?" he asks as he finally looks up at me with sad eyes. "Was it about me?"  
Before I know what I'm doing, I'm nodding yes. He already noticed before I could stop myself.  
  
 _Good job, Danny! No one will mistake you for a genius! Trust me!_  
  
"What did he say then?" he tries again. I shake my head, letting him know that I'm not telling him anything. "I think I have a right to know if it’s about me, Danny," He sounds as if he's getting annoyed and irritated now, and I can't help but feel guilty and disappointed in myself.  
  
"I don't want your feelings hurt, Ben," I answer quietly.  
  
"Danny, my feelings are already hurt. I already know he said something about me again."  
  
 _Again?_  
  
Before I could question it or even respond to his question, lunch is over. He shakes his head disappointedly and stands. Well, me and Ben don't have any more classes together. We only have math together, but math and lunch just isn't enough time for me to be satisfied. Maybe I could bring him over to my house after school, my parents won't mind, they don't care what I do anyways.  
  
"Uh, bye Danny," Ben says quietly.  
  
"Ben, ya wanna hang out after school?" I ask him quickly before he can walk away, praying that he managed to catch it. Thankfully he did as he turned around to face me and nod. I smile.  
  
"You'll meet me at my locker?" he asks shyly, rocking back and forth on his feet, head hung low. I smile, he’s so fucking cute!  
  
"Yeah, what's your locker number?"  
  
"112," he says quietly. I nod, even though he can't see me.  
  
"See you at the end of the day then," I chirp and he nods before going to his next class.


	3. Chapter 3

Just like I had promised, I meet Ben at his locker. When I approach locker 112, he’s awkwardly standing there, swaying from left to right on his feet. I smile widely as I tap his shoulder, causing him to jump as his head snaps in my direction. My smile drops completely as I notice the state he’s in.  
  
Horror and sadness swim in his eyes as tears flow rapidly down his flushed cheeks.  
  
My protective instincts urge me to pull the crying boy into a tight hug, but he gasps and moves out of my grasp. I flinch and step back a little bit, giving him room. He wipes his eyes before speaking as I watch the vulnerable boy, concerned.  
  
"Sorry ‘bout that," he sniffles, keeping his head hung low. "I'm fine, don't worry bout me." I sigh, my heart aching for him.  
  
"You sure? You don’t look it..." I ask softly. He looks up and smiles, but something’s off about it. I assure him that I’m here for him and that he can tell me anything before asking if he’s ready to come to my place. He nods his head eagerly, encouraging me to smile again. He's actually quite excited about hanging at my place while my old friends at my old school thought it was whatever. It’s kinda cute, actually…  
  
I turn to walk out the building with Ben closely by my side. We walked to my house in silence, the only sounds heard being Ben's occasional hiccups and sniffles from crying. I wanted to hug him so badly, but it's quite obvious that he's not one for hugs at all.  
  
We finally get to my house as Ben finally stops crying. I would've told him to stop if he still was, I kinda gotta get him to meet my parents. They won't let him up to my room without them meeting first. Stupid? Yes. Do I have a choice? No. I don’t think it would be a very good first impression anyways.  
  
I pull my key out of my pocket and jam it into the hole with more force than necessary and twist before letting Ben in first. He hesitates for a moment, drawing more concern from me.  
  
"You alright, mate?" I ask him. He looks up at me for the first time since we left school, quite awkwardly.  
  
"Yeah, just never been in any house other than my own," he mutters quietly, looking back to the floor sheepishly.  
  
I smile and motion for him to come in. "You're welcome here, don't worry! Worsnop’s place is the coolest ever!"  
  
With that, he hastily walks in. I chuckle at him and step in myself, closing and locking the door behind me.  
  
"Mom! Dad! I'm home! I brought someone with me!" I shout loudly so my parents would hear me from whatever room they're in. My loud shout seemed to scare Ben, seeing that he jumped back a bit and flinched. I sigh sadly and mutter an apology as I hear footsteps from the kitchen, and in comes a smiling Mom along with Dad, who was a bit surprised yet happy. Is the fact that I brought a friend home the first day of school really  _that_  great?  
  
"Hey, Daniel! How was school?" I grimace at the use of my birth name. I specifically asked to be called 'Danny' a while back but he keeps calling my ‘Daniel’ instead. I let it slip, even though it irritates me.  
  
"It was fine, I made a new friend here," I turn my head to look at Ben, who was staring at his shoes. He kept blinking at them, trying to fight back tears. I sigh softly again before looking back to my parents.  
  
"Ah, so Danny made a friend already? Wanna introduce yourself, honey?" Mom asks Ben with a smile. Ben stays silent and barely shakes his head no.  
  
Fuck.  
  
I lean closer to his ear and whisper gently, "you don't have to be afraid of my parents! They'll love you, I swear!"  
  
He takes a deep breath and shakily lets it out. "I-I'm Ben. Danny's b-best friend," he says quietly, but my parents still heard. His stuttering seemed to have returned. Probably because he's talking to someone new.  
  
Wait.  
  
Ben said he was my best friend.  
  
Not my friend, but my  _best_  friend.  
  
I smile widely at the idea, until,  
  
"Um, Daniel? Is your friend okay?" That killed the mood. I glance at Ben again, who was trying to cover his face by allowing his hair to fall over it, tears rolling down his face again. I also notice his hands starting to shake before he quickly shoves them in his pocket. I sigh sympathetically. I’m gonna have to talk to him about this as soon as we’re alone.  
  
"I don't know, I'm gonna take him to my room so we can talk about it, is that okay?" I answer, finishing with a question of my own.  
  
"Yes, and it was nice meeting you, Ben!" Mom says. Ben merely nods in response. I lean towards his ear again and whisper, " ’bout to grab your hand, okay?" I reach a hand into his pocket and tap his fingers with my own, and he wraps his tiny fingers around my hand. I blush a little as the butterflies in my stomach start fluttering around and hold his hand back. I lead him upstairs and into my room where I let go of his hand.  
  
“So, what’s up, buddy?”  
  
“Uh...c-can I u-use your b-bathroom? Please?” he mutters desperately and quietly- so quietly, it’s barely audible.  
  
“Go ahead. Room right across the hall.”  
  
He nods and shuffles quickly out of the room and into the bathroom, locking the door behind himself. Now, I guess I just wait here for Ben to come out so we can talk. I sigh and throw myself onto the floor, basically planking, my face mashed into the carpet.  
  
“Carpet sure is delicious,” I mutter sarcastically to myself, feeling the rough texture of my carpet against my tongue. I groan as I roll over. The stupid feeling is still clinging to my tongue! Gross! After a while, Ben enters the room again. He lays on the floor next to me, gazing up at the ceiling. I suddenly feel the urge to move closer and wrap my arms around him, but we all know what happens when someone touches him, so that’s out of the question. All I do is study him closely, admiring how beautiful he really is. This damn crush will be the end of me…  
  
[Danny, aren’t you forgetting something?  
  
Yeah, Danny! Thanks for reminding me!  
  
Great, now I’m mentally talking to myself.  
  
“Benji? Wanna tell me why you were crying?” I ask him softly, gaining his attention. He turns his head to the right to look at me, he wore an amused expression.  
  
“Did you call me ‘Benji’?” he asks.  
  
Fuck. Did I really?  
  
I blush once again and nod. I’ve never blushed so much before...  
  
“Do you want me to stop?”  
  
“Nah, I kinda like it,” he tells me as he returns his gaze to the ceiling. I smile, satisfied by the knowledge of him liking my nickname for him.  
  
“No one else is allowed to call you that, alright?” I chuckle a bit. “It’s my nickname for you.”  
  
“Who else is there to call me ‘Benji’?” he asks me softly. I sigh sadly, remembering what Ms. King told me earlier.  
  
 _‘Thank you for working with Mr. Bruce! I think he needed a friend.’_  
  
I’m his only friend. That’s gotta change.  
  
We’re quiet for a moment, until I remember the topic I was supposed to bring up before he left for the bathroom.  
  
“Hey, why were you crying? Don’t tell me you’re fine because you’re clearly not,” I try again. He sighs as he rubs his stomach absentmindedly.  
  
“It’s nothing,” he murmured, avoiding eye contact. I tilt his head towards me with my fingers, forcing him to make eye contact again. I stare into his sad yet gorgeous blue eyes, him staring back into my own eyes.  
  
“Tell me the truth,” I tell him firmly. “Remember what I said earlier?”  
  
He’s quiet for a moment before he starts to speak.  
  
“It’s just...it’s- um…” he gets out before sighing and averting his gaze down to my chin.  
  
“Ben,” I say a bit sternly, “My eyes are up here.” He looks back up to them. “What’s wrong, Ben? I want to help you.”  
  
He stays silent, gazing into my eyes. He finally opens his mouth to speak. “Don’t let him know you heard it from me, okay? It’ll make it worse.”  
  
I’m about to urge him on so I can understand what he means, but then I know. I seemed to glare at nothing in particular, anger radiating out of me like a lightbulb. Someone hurting my Benji? Oh boy, this cunt’s about to get his ass beat…  
  
But Ben doesn’t want me to let him find out that he told me.  
  
Who is this fucking douche anyway?  
  
“Who, Benji?” I finally ask him. He opens his mouth to answer, but my mother’s voice stops him.  
  
“Danny! You and your friend may come down to eat if you’d like!” Mom shouts from the kitchen downstairs.  
  
I smile and sit up, leaving Ben laying on the floor alone. I turn to him with a smile and pull him up into a sitting position by the collar of his hoodie like I would do to my old friends. I retreat when I realize what I’ve done. I apologize as I stand up, pulling him up by his hand like any normal person really should.  
  
“You wanna go down and eat?” I ask him.  
  
“No, thank you,” he answers quickly, shifting his gaze to the floor once again. I roll my eyes.  
  
“Come on, Benji! My mom makes some good food! Plus, you’ve barely eaten today, have you?”  
  
He rocks back and forth on his feet anxiously, keeping his gaze on the floor. “I’ve eaten plenty,” he says very quietly. I step closer to him, he looks up at me.  
  
“What have you eaten, Benji?” I smile down at him. He’ll probably feel more comfortable talking to a happy Danny. He lets his eyes wander around my room a bit  
  
“A few crackers, a few grapes, half of that granola bar, and uh…” He starts fidgeting. He backs up to the bed and sits on it, gazing down at his lap.  
  
“Did you eat anything else, Benji? Is that really all you ate?” I ask sternly as I sit next to him on the bed. I stare at him, wanting an answer.  
  
“N-No, I just have bad memory,” he says, glancing up at me before looking back at his lap, “My dad made a big breakfast today because… he got promoted, and wanted to celebrate.”  
  
I nod my head.  
  
“So, you just too full to eat, huh?” I chuckle at him, standing up. He nods, looking up at me. My stomach growls, telling me to take my ass downstairs and eat some fucking dinner. “Well, I’m about to eat. You may come if you want. I’ll be back up as soon as I’m done eating, okay?” I ask him. He only nods in response and lays back on the bed.  
  
I walk into the kitchen where my parents were already eating. They look up at me when they hear me enter the room.  
  
“Where’s your friend?” Dad asks as he shoves another fry into his mouth. Mom looks to me expectantly.  
  
“Oh, Ben? He’s not hungry,” I reply as I sit at the table where my plate of fries and a burger sits. That’s when I realize that we’re having McDonald’s. It will never compare to my mom’s cooking, that’s for sure.  
  
“Oh, well if he gets hungry, we still have some left over!” Mom smiles warmly as she takes a bite out of her burger. I nod in response and wolf down my food, eager to get back upstairs to Ben. I finish my food in a couple minutes and run upstairs to my room again.  
  
I still have my cheeks full like a hamster collecting food in it’s jaws when I step into the room. Ben glances up at me. He arches an eyebrow when he sees my mouth.  
  
“Uh...Danny?”  
  
“Yeah, Benny-boy?” I reply when I gulp the food down in painfully large amounts. He doesn't say anything, just amusingly shakes his head. “What?”  
  
“You looked like a chipmunk,” he says. That’s the loudest I’ve ever heard him speak. It was still quiet, but not was quiet as he usually is. It makes me smile. He’s warming up to me, which is great, considering the fact that this is only day one. I walk over to the bed he was chilling on and push him over a bit so I could sit too. He flinches slightly when I do. I apologize for scaring him as I slide on the bed next to him. We sit in a comfortable silence. Come to think about it, it was kinda awkward in a way I invited my friend over and didn’t even know what we would do. Ben must’ve been thinking the same,  
  
“Uh...what are we supposed to do?” he asks, looking over to me. I turn my head to the right and gaze at his face. I haven’t seen this beautiful face smile yet. Without thinking, I push aside his unanswered question with my own,  
  
“Why don’t you smile?”  
  
He stares at me for a while, before turning his head to look at the wall in front of him.  
  
“There’s no reason to smile.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to put this up like a million years ago :(  
> At this moment, June 14 2015, I have 20 chapters rewritten for you guys, so if you guys feel that I'm taking too long to upload the next chapter, just remind me and I'll have it up in no time, unless I'm grounded or I don't have internet or the computer isn't available :)  
> I love you guys very much! Thank you, guys <3


	4. Chapter 4

I did try to get Ben to smile. He just wouldn't do it. I eventually gave up, and asked him if he was ready to eat his dinner. He refused once again. But that's okay, my mom didn't cook it, it was just cheap fast food.

But some pretty damn good cheap fast food. Especially the fries.

"Hey, uh, what time is it?" Ben asks me, who was laying next to me again. I pull my phone out and turn it on.

"8:37."

"Fucking hell, what’s Dad gonna think?" he asks quietly to himself.  I can’t help but be shocked by his use of profanity. "I should've known it was getting late! It's dark out!"

I turn my head to the right to look at Ben as he continues to ramble on and on about the time and how his parents would kill him for staying out this late and not telling them. I sigh.

"Well," I start, shutting him up. He quickly averts his gaze to me with hopeful eyes, "you could always call him real quick. I mean, tell him why and stuff."

He lets his eyes wander to the right a bit, then back to my own. He quickly moves them down, avoiding eye contact.

"Um...would it be okay to spend the night?" he asks quietly, a small shade of pink tinting his cheeks. I smile at him and admire how cute it was before replying to his question.

"Of course!" I chirp, his eyes and stare into mine, "You know you're always welcome!"

He nods his head before shyly and hesitantly getting up. "I, uh, I'm gonna go get some of my stuff," he mutters quickly before shuffling to the door. I get up too.

"I'll go with you," I offer, walking over to him. He turns to face me, his eyes pleading.

"No, just stay here, I won't be long, I promise you."

I nod, but follow him out the door anyway. We walk downstairs, him heading to the front door, me heading to the kitchen. I step into the kitchen as the front door closes, and much to my dismay, my parents weren't in there. I sigh, I have to walk around the house and look in every room in the process just to find them. God, I'm so fucking lazy. I walk around the house and find Mom in her room. Well, at least I found one of them.

"Hey, is it okay if Ben spends the night, 'cause I already told him he could," I ask her.  Well, I was pretty much telling her he was staying. She laughs a bit and smiles warmly.

"Why not? You boys have fun, I'm off to bed now!"

I nod in thanks and leave the room, closing the door behind me. By the time I'm back in my room, the front door opens and slams shut. Probably Ben unless my dad was out doing something. My door slams open, and Ben scurries in, closing the door behind him.

I finally turn my head to look at him. His face was a bit red and he was panting. I cock an eyebrow at him.

"You alright?" I ask him. He nods quickly, dropping the small bag he had by the door.

"Ran...to the house...ran back…" he manages between pants, making his way to my bed before throwing himself on it. I carefully lay next to him, trying to think of something to start up a conversation.

"What's in the bag?" I ask him when his breathing calms down.

Really, Danny?  You ask him what’s in his fucking bag?  God, you pathetic, lovestruck mess.

"Eh, nothing much, just a toothbrush, toothpaste, iPhone charger, my diary thing, pointless stuff," he lists, counting off his fingers.

Diary. I can’t help but smirk as a mischievous idea comes up.  Ben seems to notice and frowns at me disapprovingly.

"Don't bother planning on reading my notebook, I'm not leaving it unoccupied," Ben informs, I groan in disappointment.

"But I must know more about you!" I whine.

"Well, what do you wanna know?"

I look to him, him looking back at me. I suddenly feel awkward, not even knowing what to ask.

"Anything," I answer, giving up on thinking of a question. He shrugs, telling me that he didn't know what to answer.

We just lay there and stare at each other, the only sounds heard being our breathing and that slight buzz you always hear in a quiet room.

Then a buzz from Ben's phone, scaring the shit out of him. So, there's two buzzes!

Haha! Right?

No, Danny. Just, no. Please stop.

I couldn't help but giggle a bit at him for being so easily scared, causing him to blush. He sure does do that a lot. Not that I'm complaining, it's pretty damn cute…

He sits up a bit and pulls his phone out of the pocket of his black hoodie, which I now notice is a little big on him, making him seem smaller.  I also notice a small red stain at the hem of his white shirt that peeks out from underneath his hoodie.  

He reads his text message, a look of sadness on his face. I lean closer to see what it said, but he turned his phone off.

"Nosy Danny!" he says playfully, trying to hide his sadness, but I heard.

"I'm not being nosy, I'm trying to help a friend. Whatever you read hurt you."

He stays silent, thinking. He turns his phone on and taps in his password, I try to remember.

_6-2-1-2_

He shakily hands me the phone, I read it.

**Unknown: Don't forget what I said :D**

Um...what? How should I feel about this? Angry? Happy? Confused? I'll go with the third and ask Ben, duh.

"Benji, who is this? Don't forget what?" I ask calmly. He shakes his head.

"Don't worry about it," he says.  I frown instead.

"No. I won’t. Who the fuck is it? Don't forget what?" I kinda snap at him, making him flinch. I sigh, regretting my tone.

Danny, just keep in mind that he's sensitive.

"It's an old friend. He uh...told me...nothing, really-"

I cut him off. I know he's fucking lying to me.

"Ben, that's bullshit. Tell me the fucking truth," I snap at him again, forgetting about his sensitivity, "I can't help you if you're lying to me."

He pulls his knees to his chest and cries into them. I start to regret my actions as I watch him.  I’m so fucking used to talking to my old friends like this that I do it to Ben too.

"Look, I'm sorry I snapped at you, but I just wanna help you. I hate seeing you like this."

He nods, understanding, I assume.

"Okay, now, can you look at me?"

He shakes his head no.

"Please, Benji?"

Same response as before.

I grab each side of his head and pull it up and away from his knees, forcing him to look me in the eyes as I stare into his bloodshot ones.

"Tell me what's going on. Who sent the message, and what did this person say that they didn't want you to forget?" I ask as calmly, yet seriously, as I can. He stares at me for a few minutes before opening his mouth to speak.

"I wasn't lying when I said he was an old friend."

I nod, telling him to continue.

"Earlier this afternoon, a few minutes before you met me at my locker, he told me something..."

"Benji, what did he tell you?"

Tears pool in his eyes again, "I don't think I wanna talk about it."

I sigh. I let go of his face and gently wipe his tears away. I really don't wanna see him cry, so I'm gonna let it go for now.

"Tell me when you do," I say softly, almost pleading. He nods. "Now, don't cry. It makes Danny here wanna cry himself."

"Danny's not allowed to cry," he sniffles, looking away.

"Benji's not either," I giggle a bit. "If Benji doesn't cry, Danny won't cry. How's that sound?"

He looks to me again and nods. I smile wide.

"Wanna get into our pajamas and go to bed?"

"Uh...I don't have pajamas, forgot to grab some," he says, "I'll just wear what I'm wearing."

I shake my head, "No no, I have pajamas you can wear!" With that, I get off the bed and walk over to my dresser and pull out sweatpants and a t-shirt for him.

"Ha, I just throw all my clothes in my closet," Ben says from next to me, scaring the shit out of me, rather than the other way around.  When I recover, I start to laugh a bit.

"Whoa! You're a ninja!" I breathe, holding the clothes out for him. I also kinda ignored his random statement. Actually, I kinda didn't. I mentally giggled.  I then mentally kick myself for mentally giggling.

"Yeah, I guess I am. Oh, and I don't need the shirt, I can sleep with my hoodie."

I shrug but put the shirt away anyways. He takes the pants and leaves the room, I'm guessing going into the bathroom. I pull out my favorite t-shirt and another pair of sweatpants. I take off my shirt and jeans, and notice my fucking shirt is inside out. I struggle a bit to make it right side out, succeeding the third time.

Then the door to my bedroom opens then closes.

And I'm only in my boxers.

Ben stands there awkwardly with a blush, staring at me. I smirk at him.

"Like what you see?" I chuckle, causing his face to go as red as a tomato. I chuckle again and step into my pants and put my shirt on.

"Uh...so do you want me to sleep on the floor, or…" Ben awkwardly starts, shifting his gaze to his feet.

"Nah, you can sleep in my bed with me," I answer him, he shyly looks back up at me.

"Um...well, just don't…uh," His blush deepens. I'm quite sure my face went a deep red as well.

"Oh, no! Why would I?!" I quickly reply. God, this took an awkward turn…

"Let's just pretend I never said that…" Ben mutters awkwardly as he drags his feet to the bed. I giggle and nod, even though he can't see me. I crawl under my covers on my bed, followed by Ben.

"Hmm...your bed is warm," he sighs contently. I smirk, getting an idea.

"What if I told you I just farted?"

Of course I didn't.

"You fucking gross, nasty man!" Ben snaps and attempts to roll out of bed. I grab his arm, stopping him from leaving, and throw the covers over his head.

"Dutch oven!" I shout. I fucking hear him laugh.

"You didn't fart!"

He laughed, dammit!

I throw the covers down again and quickly look at his face. Unfortunately, his smile vanished. Didn't even get to see it.

"You okay?" he asks me.

"Yeah. You laughed, but I didn't get to see you smile," I answer him, indirectly requesting to see him smile, but he wasn’t having it.

"Oh," he says, allowing himself to get comfortable as he rolls so his back is facing me. "sorry Danny."

Looks like he's not letting me see his smile.

**  
  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lauren and Kat have both requested updates :) i hope you two like them <3

My eyes flutter open to darkness, which let’s me know that it’s only the middle of the night.  My front is also oddly warm.  When my vision clears a bit, I notice that Ben’s back is pressed to my chest, and also that there’s light shining dimly from in front of him, letting me know that he’s not asleep at all.  He’s writing in a notebook, shining light from his phone at his page.

“Ben?” I yawn sleepily.  He quickly writes something before slamming the book shut, and I confusedly raise an eyebrow.

Oh yeah, his diary thingy.  Forgot about that.

“Yeah, Danny?” he asks as he moves out of my arms and I pout as he does so.  

“Why are you up? What time is it?” I ask.  He checks his phone.

“It’s around eleven thirty.”  I yawn again as I try to get comfortable without Ben’s warmth that was previously against me.  I roll onto my back, I like sleeping that way.

“Benji, go to bed. We have school tomorrow.”

He whines, which was pretty damn adorable in my opinion.

“But we only get to see each other in Ms. King’s class and at lunch!”  I sigh, tomorrow’s gonna suck.

“Yeah, that sucks ass, huh?” I answer.  I barely see him nod.

“You’re my only friend, Danny,” Ben mutters sadly, scooting closer to me and resting his head on my shoulder.  

His hair smells good...

I smile sadly at him even though he probably can’t see it. “Well, everyone else doesn’t know what they’re missing because you’re one of the coolest people I know.”

“You think so?”

I nod. “Yes, Benji. Now go to sleep so you’re not tired in the morning.”

“‘Kay, just let me finish writing this. Please don’t read it,” Ben pleads.  I roll my eyes.  I wanna sleep now anyways.

“Alright, I’m going to sleep now, though. Don’t stay up all night.”

“Alright, Mom,” I hear Ben sarcastically say before I drift off to sleep.

<><><>

I wake up again about ten minutes before my alarm should be ringing.  I had my arms wrapped around Ben’s waist with his head snuggled into the crook of my neck, and I couldn’t help but think that it’d be nice to lay this way forever like the sappy highschooler I am.  At least I can hold him for another ten minutes, yeah?  I smile and pull him even closer, sighing into his hair contently.  

Unfortunately, those sweet ten minutes were over in no time and it was time to get up for school.  I let go of Ben and get out of bed.  I softly grab his shoulder and shake him gently until his eyes flutter open.

“Time to get ready for school, Benji!” I whisper to him with a slight smile.

“Ew,” is all he says before pulling himself out of bed, earning a small giggle from me.  

He walks out of the room and I notice that he goes to the bathroom.  A few seconds later, he enters my room once again, wearing jeans instead of sweatpants.  He must’ve left his jeans in the bathroom then.

“Hey, are you gonna wear that hoodie again?” I ask him, motioning towards it with a nod of my head.  He nods as he walks over to my closet and pulls out his shoes.  I tossed them in there yesterday.

“Can you get my boots out of there too, please?” I ask, he does so.  I thank him when he hands them to me.

“I can’t believe today’s only Tuesday,” Ben whines as he sits on the floor, slipping one of his shoes on.  I sit across from him and begin pulling my shoes on as well.

“Yeah, well, we can still hang out during the week, though!” I cheer, hoping it makes up for only being able to see him in math class and lunch during the school hours.  He nods, agreeing.

“Danny, thanks for being my friend,” Ben mutters quietly as he slips on his second shoe, me doing so as well.

“It’s no problem at all! You’re great!” I laugh as I get up, admiring my boots happily.

“Ah, cool,” he says as he finishes tying his shoes.  He gets up and follows me out into the kitchen where my mom was leaning against the counter, sipping from her cup of- smells like coffee.  She smiles when she sees the two of us.

“Good morning, Danny! Good morning, uh, was it Grant?” my mom greets, forgetting Ben’s name already.  Where the fuck did she get _Grant_  from?  

“B-Ben,” Ben stutters a bit, “Good m-morning, Mrs. W-Worsnop.”

“Ah, I’m sorry, sweetie!” she apologizes with a sheepish giggle. “And you can call me Sharon if you’d like.”

Ben nods and stands awkwardly next to me.  I turn to him.

“Well, I guess you can eat anything you find,” I offer Ben food.  he nods a thanks before turning around and opening the fridge.  He pulls out an apple and closes the fridge once again.  He turns to me again.

"Got any crackers?" he asks as he takes a bite out of his apple.  I nod and open one of the cabinets, revealing a box of saltines.  

"How many?" I ask him, taking the box down.

"Two or three, I guess."

I get seven out- three for him, four for me- and put the box away.  I give him his and shove all mine in my mouth.

"Morning, Sharon, Daniel, Bill," Dad greets as he walks into the kitchen and flings the fridge door open.  Is it really so hard to remember his name is fucking _Ben_?  And why can’t he just call me _Danny_?!  Ugh.

"Philip, honey, his name is Ben," Mom corrects him for Ben.  Philip looks to Ben and smiles sheepishly.

"Sorry bout that, Ben," my dad apologizes.  Ben nods, accepting his apology.  I open another cabinet, revealing a lot of snacks.  I get a few chocolate bars for lunch and turn to Ben.

"Want anything for lunch, Benny?" I ask him as he takes another small bite from his apple.  He shakes his head.  I shrug.

"Okay, but I have three chocolate bars if you change your mind!"

He nods as I leave the kitchen and head back up to our room to get our book bags, which were by the foot of my bed.  I go downstairs to Ben and give him his book bag.  He took it and put it on his back as I did the same to mine.  

"You about ready to go?" I ask him.  He nods, and we head out.

"Bye, Ben! You're welcome any time you wanna come!" my mom shouts after us, "Bye, Danny!"

"Bye!" we both shout in unison as we leave the house and start walking to school.  The walk there was quiet, until someone runs over to us.

"Hi, hi, hi! You're the new kid that just started going here yesterday!" the guy shouts at me enthusiastically, causing me to smile a bit. "I'm Trenton! What's your name?"

"Danny," I answer him.

"Do you recognize me, Danny?" he asks with a huge smile.  I study him as I think hard about it.

Lunch.

"Yeah, I saw you at lunch yesterday," I answer, my smile widening, but only a little.

I feel something tug at my arm, and look to the left.  Ben was holding on to it for dear life, his head hung low.  I frown at him.  

"Ben? You okay?" I whisper.

"Aw, he's fine!" Trenton cuts in, grabbing my arm and yanking me away from Ben. "We should get to class!"

With that, Trenton drags me the rest of the way to school.  But I was lucky and managed to grab Ben's collar before I got too far, dragging him along with me.  

This probably looked awkward to the other people walking about, yeah?  

 


	6. Chapter 6

The class is taking notes as they all grade each other’s worksheets from last class, but am I doing that? Fuck no. I’ve been staring at Ben instead, who’d risk a glance back at me every once in a while. Whenever Ms. King catches me off guard, I quickly start writing ‘notes’, which is really just writing a bunch of small lyrics I randomly think of. Trenton also passes me a couple of notes, telling me to sit with him at lunch.  
  
As long as I’m with Ben, I don’t fucking care where I sit.  
  
“Mr. Worsnop!” Ms. King shouts, making me jump a bit and pulling me out of the imaginary world I made up for my own pleasure:  _Benworld_.  
  
“Yes, ma’am?” I reply to her. The class giggles (I don’t know why, it wasn’t even funny).  
  
“Number twenty-eight,” I hear Ben’s voice whisper quietly. I smile, thankful for having him here right now while I’m in need of a helping hand.  
  
But I’m always glad to have Ben anyways.  
  
I scan down my paper to number twenty-eight, and give Ms. King the answer. She moves on to the next problem as I glance back to Ben, who was, indeed, staring back at me. I smile and mouth a thanks, he nods in reply and turns back around.  
  
<><><>  
  
“Thanks for that, Ben. I could’ve gotten in trouble,” I thank Ben as we walk into the cafeteria.  
  
“Yeah, it’s no problem, really,” Ben shrugs. “Oh, do we have to sit at that table again?”  
  
He must really hate that table, huh? I feel pretty bad about making him sit there, but I already promised Trenton I’d sit with him. I mean, yeah, I love Ben way more than I’ll ever love Trenton, but I don’t wanna say I’ll do something then not do it. That’d make me a dick (even though I just said I love one of my friends more than I’d ever love the other but okay then).  
  
“Where did you go during lunch before I came around?” I ask him out of curiosity. He shrugs.  
  
“I wandered through the building.”  
  
“Well, let’s go sit down, unless you’re getting in line for lunch,” I say as I start to walk towards the table. Ben shakes his head and follows me to the table where Trenton said he’d be sitting at. The only thing about this table I’m not too satisfied with is the fact that DJ sits here too.  
  
Let’s just say I haven’t completely gotten over what DJ had said to me yesterday.  
  
 _‘That kid, Ben, you really shouldn't hang out with him, he's a freak.’_  
  
Hold on, wait. I just realized something.  
  
Remembering what DJ said to me yesterday and what Ben said as well and piecing it together…  
  
Yeah, it all makes fucking sense now.  
  
DJ's picking on Ben, isn’t he?! I can't believe I was too dumb to see this yesterday!  
  
I glare at nothing in particular as I angrily drop myself to the seat and violently take one of my chocolate bars out of my pocket. It's mushy. Fucking body heat. Looks like I'm licking wrappers then.  
  
This just isn’t my fucking day anymore, huh?  
  
"Danny, you okay?" Ben asks as he sits to the left of me in his corner.  
  
"No."  
  
That came out harsher than I intended.  
  
"What's wrong?" he asks after flinching at my tone. I glance at him from the corner of my eye, opening the wrapper to my chocolate. Or, I should call it fudge. I decide to ignore him this time, just so I don't scare him in case I snap.  
  
We'll talk about this later.  
  
Then to make everything better, DJ comes over with Trenton.  
  
"Hey, Danny!" Trenton chirps as he sits to my right. DJ sits next to him.  
  
"Hey, Trenton," I greet as I scrape the chocolate off the wrapper with my teeth.  
  
"You feeling okay?" Trenton asks as he raises an eyebrow.  
  
"Fucking loving life," I snap a bit, finishing off the rest of my chocolate. I'll eat the other two bars when it isn't so soupy.  
  
"You sure you're okay?" Ben whispers next to me. "You were fine just a second ago."  
  
"I'll talk to you later about it.” I'm so pissed off at the moment, I wanna beat the shit out of someone (DJ, specifically). But I don’t wanna get into any trouble on my second day of school, I got in trouble a lot for that at my old school.  
  
At the news I tell Ben, I can see him freak out a bit from the corner of my eye. He must know that it’s bad, and that he’s not gonna enjoy the conversation too much.  
  
I’m doing this because I care too much about him to see him hurt.  
  
“So, Danny!” the energetic Trenton chirps, I turn my attention to him.  
  
“What’s up?”  
  
“I’m having a party! This weekend! I wanna invite you! And DJ! So you can meet some of my other friends!”  
  
I ignore the mentioning of DJ and think about the party. It sounds fun. I’ll try to get Ben in the action.  
  
“Can Ben come with me?” I ask him, trying to calm myself down so I can have a normal conversation. I can see Ben furiously shake his head from the corner of my eye. Trenton nods, and smirks slightly.  
  
“Yeah, I guess he could come, too! It’s this Friday, around 5:30!”  
  
“But Danny, I don’t wanna go,” Ben leans closer to my ear and whispers, causing the butterflies in my stomach to flutter around. I turn slightly in my seat to face Ben better.  
  
“You can just hang with me if you’d like, but I still want you to try and make more friends,” I whisper back to him.  
  
“But I have you! You’re all I need!”  
  
His words make me blush. I randomly get an idea.  
  
“You don’t have to go to the party,” his face lightens up, “If,” that killed his vibe, “You let me see your beautiful little smile real quick.”  
  
“Looks like I’m going to that party,” he mutters, looking down again as his face drops. Why does he have to be so fucking stubborn? I just wanna see him smile, why’s that so fucking hard?!  
  
“Please! I wanna see your smile!” I plead.  
  
“I can’t show you,” he whispers, shaking his head to prove his point.  
  
“Why not?” I ask desperately.  
  
Then DJ’s cunt self had to butt in like the butt he is.  
  
“Ain’t he a freak?” he whispers quietly to me.  
  
And with one swift movement, I stretch my arm out behind Trenton and backhand that motherfucker DJ in the face.

 


	7. Chapter 7

I ended up dragging Ben home with me later that afternoon. We have something to discuss.  
  
I forgot to lock the door this morning, so I just barge in.  
  
"Guys I'm home and I brought Ben with me again and we have something important to talk about so I'll be in my room if you need me!" I scream to the top of my lungs in one breath on my way up to my room. I slam the door shut behind me and let go of Ben's hoodie.  
  
He looks pretty freaked out.  
  
I wait for him to calm down before I speak, "Ben, I know DJ's been picking on you. Tell me about it, please."  
  
He doesn't seem too thrilled to be having this conversation, and I'm not either, bur I gotta do it for his own good. He doesn't say anything for a moment. I open my mouth to speak, but he beats me to it.  
  
"Yeah, DJ's been picking on me since tenth grade," he says as he sits down on the bed. I frown as I sit next to him, slightly surprised that I didn't have to ask him again but pissed at the same time because of his answer, but I calm myself down so I can have this conversation with him.  
  
"Oh, has he now?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask angrily. Not at him, but at my stupid self for not realizing it when I first noticed signs of it and at DJ himself for fucking with him in the first place.  
  
"I didn't wanna start drama."  
  
"Is that it?"  
  
"Part of the reason." He leans his head on my shoulder. I lean my head on his.  
  
"Mind telling me the other part?"  
  
"I guess I can tell you now," he says, more to himself than to me. "I was scared that you'd agree with him and pick on me too."  
  
I sigh sympathetically and sadly. I'd never make fun of anyone, it's just not me.  
  
"You need a hug, I'm about to hug you," I warn him, not wanting to scare him again. I wrap my arms around his waist gently and pull him into a side hug, definitely noticing how skinny he is. He hesitantly lets his right arm rest around my waist, it being his way of awkwardly hugging me back.  
  
It's cute.  
  
"Do you know why DJ picks on you? And what started it?" I look to him. He shakes is head.  
  
"I don't wanna talk about it," he tells me. I nod.  
  
"Alright, Benji. I won't make you. But tell me when you do. I'm always here for you. I'll never judge you."  
  
He nods as I let my eyes wander. My room's cleaner than it was earlier, I've just noticed. I guess Mom came in while I was at school and cleaned. My eyes stop at the small bag by the door. I smile. That's Ben's bag, he left it here.  
  
"Oh, Ben, there's your bag," I say, unwrapping one of my arms from Ben's waist as I point at the door.  
  
"Ah, okay, thanks," he mumbles as I put my arm back to Ben's waist.  
  
"You know, you're really fun to hug," I say out of nowhere, inhaling. I smell the scent of Ben's hair in the process. Still smells good.  
  
"How so?" he asks me.  
  
"I don't know, it just is."  
  
"But we've never properly hugged, really. Just a side hug like this." Point there, but that's kinda his fault. He freaked out when I gave him a real hug.  
  
"You don't like hugs," I mutter quietly.  
  
"I know. Sorry, Dan."  
  
We sit like that for a decent while, until Ben spoke up again.  
  
"So, why'd you backhand DJ at lunch today?"  
  
 _"Ain't he a freak?" he whispers quietly to me.  
  
And with one swift movement, I stretched my arm out behind Trenton and backhand that motherfucker DJ in the face.  
  
The force and speed of the back of my hand making contact with his lips sends him tumbling back and out of his seat, drawing attention towards this table. Everything is dead silent, until someone starts laughing, that someone turning into the majority of the cafeteria. I glare at the idiot laying on his back on the dirty floor as he glares back. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Ben covering his mouth with his hands, his shoulders trembling and his face red like a tomato, so I can tell he's laughing.  
  
But I'm far too pissed to be happy about it.  
  
DJ gets back up to his feet as his glare gets more intense and I get up from my seat as well, feeling a fight coming on. He throws a punch, but I grab his arm before it can hit me and throw a punch myself. The power of the blow knocks him over, and he would've fallen to the floor if I wasn't holding onto his arm.  
  
The students in the cafeteria are chanting for a fight. That's exactly what they're gonna get, too. I throw DJ down, taunting him until he gets back up to his feet.  
  
"Why don't we take this shit outside?" DJ asks angrily, slightly shaking from how angry he is.  
  
"Fuck yeah." I follow him outside, the whole cafeteria seeming to follow. I haven't given a decent ass whooping in so long!_  
  
"He said something I didn't like. Doubt he'll be telling me shit like that anytime soon," I answer with a proud smirk.  
  
"Yeah, I saw the fight. You kicked his ass," Ben agrees with a nod.  
  
"Ms. King said I have to eat lunch in her class for the rest of the week, trying to keep me out if trouble, she says," I tell him.  
  
"She told me. She wanted me to go with you."  
  
"I really like Ms. King. I've never had a teacher like her," I admit, feeling a bit awkward from the random confession.  
  
"Did you know she's like, five years older than us?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"You're one of her favorite students. That's why she wants us to eat in her classroom. She does the same for Trenton when he gets in trouble. You know, 'cause he's one of her favorite students too."  
  
I nod, followed by a long silence.  
  
"Danny?" Ben speaks, barely audible.  
  
"Yeah, Benji?" He snuggles closer to me.  
  
"You're special."  
  
I feel a blush rising to my cheeks when he says that. I've been called many pet names by many good people, but  _special_ coming from  _Ben Bruce?_  This one was... special...  
  
"What'cha mean by that, Benji?" I ask him quietly.  
  
"I don't trust people. I don't like talking to people. I fucking  _hate_  people. I avoid being social as much as possible, but look. We merely met yesterday and you're already my best friend. Now, doesn't that make you feel special?"  
  
I smile wide. It  _does_  make me feel special as fuck when he puts it that way.  
  
"It sure does, and you're special, too. Very special."  
  
"Eh..." I finally pull out of the hug we were sharing and turn to face him. He turns to face me too at the loss.  
  
"Yes you are! Out of all the many friends I've ever had, I love you the most." He hangs his head low, allowing his hair to fall over his face. I gently grab his face and force him to look at me.  
  
He's blushing.  
  
It makes him even cuter, if that's even possible.  
  
"I love you, Ben," I say with a smile as I keep my hold on his face. I smile wider as he blushes even more.  
  
"Aren't you gonna say you love me back?" I ask playfully.  
  
"I love you too," he says quietly as he blushes even harder.  
  
I'm enjoying this a bit too much, but that doesn't stop me from continuing. Hopefully I don't regret anything later...  
  
"You're cute when you blush."  
  
 _You guessed it._  
  
"Nope," is all he can say as he bites his pierced lip.  
  
"Awe, you're so adorable!" Now his face looks just like a fire truck.  
  
Not literally, of course.  
  
 _You're so fucking lame, Danny! You're not funny, either._  
  
"No I'm not!" I laugh and let go of his face, and the second I do, he buries his face into the crook of my neck.  
  
"That wasn't cool, Danny."  
  
"I'm sorry," I apologize with a giggle.  
  
"Like hell you are."


	8. Chapter 8

Ben went home a while ago and brought his bag with him. I’ve been up in my room all lonely after he did. His absence left me alone, away in Benworld.  
  
After a while of being stuck there, I decided I'd go chill with my parents. I got off the bed and went downstairs and into the kitchen, where they were both making dinner together.  
  
Nice to see Dad helping. He cooks pretty damn good, too.  
  
So imagine a meal that both my parents help prepare.  
  
 _Oh, hell yes!_  
  
"Hey," I say as I enter the kitchen. "What's for dinner?"  
  
"We don't know, we're just throwing a bunch of stuff into a pot," my dad answers.  
  
"Carrots, broccoli, corn, peas, rice, potatoes, tomatoes, beans, and meat," my mom lists the ingredients as she sprinkles seasoning into it. "And I don't know what this stuff is!"  
  
It'd be a fucking miracle if it actually turns out okay.  
  
I stand there awkwardly as my father dumps a small container of mushrooms into the mix.  
  
"Is your friend still here?" Mom asks as she puts what looks like cheese in the pot.  
  
I'll eat something else for dinner tonight.  
  
"No, Ben went home not too long ago," I answer as my phone buzzes in my pocket. I take it out and check who it's from.  
  
Trenton.  
  
Oh! That reminds me!  
  
"Can I go to a party on Friday?" I ask them.  
  
"Be back before eleven and you can go wherever you want."  
  
“Okay,” is all I say before walking over to the pot on the stove. I look in it.  
  
It looks like the grocery store shit in it.  
  
“So, uh…” I start, trying to figure out how I’m gonna word my sentence.  
  
“You don’t have to eat this if you don’t want to,” my mom starts, “but I do want you to at least try it. You too, Philip!” With that, my mom skips out of the kitchen and to somewhere unknown.  
  
“Okay, I’m not eating this, and you aren’t either, right?” Dad asks as he motions towards the- I don’t even know what to call it.  
  
“Nope.”  
  
“I have a plan, don’t worry!” A plan that involves getting away with not eating this junk. A plan made by Philip Worsnop. Can’t be good, but it’s worth a shot. I don’t wanna eat this, I think I’m still a bit too young to die.  
  
<><><>  
  
Philip Worsnop’s plan was a load of shit.  
  
It got us in trouble.  
  
Since when was knocking the pot over the stove and spilling it everywhere a good idea? Then he lied and told her that he saw a bug, and elbowed the pot while trying to kill it.  
  
Fucking awesome plan, Dad.  
  
Our punishment was to clean the entire kitchen and eat it off the stove.  
  
It was fucking delicious.  
  
<><><>  
  
I sigh as I let myself fall onto the bed. I smile, it still kinda smells like Ben; cigarettes and some other sweet smell, and I love it.  
  
“I’m never washing these sheets again!” I sigh happily, spreading my limbs like a starfish.  
  
I feel my phone buzz in my pocket. I groan and pull it out. I’m kinda tired of Trenton texting me right now.  
  
Nope, not Trenton. It was Ben.  
  
 **My Benji <3: HF Danny!! Did I leave me journal at your house?!**  
  
I furrow my brows as I reply to his text.  
  
 **me: your diary you were writing in??**  
  
Almost immediately, he replies.  
  
 **My Benji <3: YES!!! Do you know where it is?!?!?!  
  
me: No, sorry, mate. Haven’t seen it since I saw you with it.  
  
My Benji <3: Fuckfuckfuck there was some really personal stuff in that thing! I’d die if anyone read it!**  
  
I sigh sadly and sympathetically. It has to be in the house somewhere.  
  
 **me: Where did you put it when you were done writing in it?  
  
My Benji <3: I tossed it on the floor**  
  
Holy. Shit.  
  
My mom cleaned my room!  
  
 **me: Um… My mom kinda cleaned my room, so she might have it.  
  
My Benji <3: Oh God. Can you try to get it from her please?!?!?!?!  
  
me: I’ll go talk to her, brb**  
  
I toss my phone to the bed and jump off, speed walking out of my room. I head straight to Mom and Dad’s room, knowing that Mom usually sleeps around this time. I don’t bother to knock before barging in.  
  
“Where’s the fire, Danny?” she asks, cocking an eyebrow.  
  
“Uh, Mom? Did you clean my room earlier today?” I ask hurriedly.  
  
“Oh, yes! Why?” she asks as she starts to put her hair in a ponytail.  
  
“Ben’s missing his notebook, he left it here. He tossed it on the floor because he was writing in it before he went to bed, and I guess he forgot about it when we went to school, and all that good stuff!” She frowns.  
  
“Oh, that thing? I packed it up.”  
  
“Oh. I’ll tell him. Night,” I say as I turn around and go back to my room. She wishes me a goodnight as well on my way out.  
  
When I get back to my room, I turn off the light and text Ben.  
  
 **me: my mom packed it up.**  
  
I watch the screen, waiting for his reply. When it doesn’t come after a few minutes, I let it lay on my chest in case he does text. I stare up at the ceiling, slowly drifting back into Benworld.  
  
All I think about is his fluffy hair,  
  
His pretty blue eyes,  
  
His hot spider bites,  
  
The buzzing of my phone tickling my chest,  
  
Wait, huh?  
  
I lift the phone and read it.  
  
 **My Benji <3: Crap. Well, as long as no one reads it, I guess it’s cool :P thanks Dan, you’re the best!**  
  
My heart flutters at his words and I smile, quickly typing a reply.  
  
 **me: okay, buddy! Love you, man!**  
  
My Benji <3: haha ly2  
  
I smile as I drift off into sleep and into Benworld for the night.


	9. Chapter 9

I was rudely awakened by my bastard of an alarm. I groan and turn it off, then realize what day of the week it is.

 

“Hump day!” I shout, happy to be at the hump of the week. Wednesday. The weekend will be here before I know it!

 

I get out of bed and put on my clothes from yesterday because I’m so fucking lazy on hump days and run downstairs into the kitchen, grabbing my bookbag and phone on the way. Unlike how it is everyday, neither of my parents are in the kitchen. They sleep in on hump days to ‘get into the mood’.

 

I open the snack cabinet and pull out two granola bars. I try to put it in my pocket, but something’s in its way. I pull out what was in my pocket to find two chocolate bars. I shrug and toss the deformed chocolate bars onto the counter for whoever to clean up and stuff my granola bar in their place.

 

I walk out of the house and see Ben walking down the sidewalk, his head hung low and his hood up. I jog over to him. He notices me jogging over.

 

“Hey, Dan,” he mutters quietly, not looking up from his feet.

 

“Hey, you alright?” I ask him. He nods, but makes no move to make eye contact. I use my finger to tilt his chin up.

 

“What the hell?” I ask when I see the skin under his left eye. He had a decent sized bruise there. “What happened?” He stares at me with those horror-filled eyes and doesn’t say anything.

 

“Well?” I ask him again, a tad bit more harsh than the first time.

 

“Ehm...my Dad punched me...it was an accident,” he replies quietly, shifting his gaze to his feet again.

 

“You sure it was an accident, or do I have to go kick his ass?” is my reply.

 

“You love to kick ass, huh?” he asks me, reminding me of yesterday.

 

“Don’t change the subject.”

 

“I’m sure, we were playing but it got really rough. It was an accident, he apologized already.”

 

I let his chin go as we start to walk to school together, talking about anything that came to our weird little minds. We did that, until Trenton came running over, whooping and cheering at the sight of me.

 

“Danny! Danny! Hi! Hi! Let’s get to class now!” With that, he grabs my arm and takes off towards the building. I reached out to grab Ben too but Trenton was too quick this time. I’d just have to see Ben in class.

 

<><><>

 

Ms. King assigned us seats, all the tables pushed together so that they formed tables of four. I was happy to have my two friends in the group, Ben and Trenton. Trenton wasn’t too happy when DJ got put in the group farthest from ours, for obvious reasons. We didn’t have enough students in this class to have every group containing four students, so we were placed at the group for three.

 

Ms. King did right when she put Ben next to me. I’m pretty sure she did it on purpose.

 

But I still can’t help but to feel that we’re a bit too old for the classroom to be arranged this way. Well, then again, Ms. King seems to be the type of teacher to teach kindergarten or first grade. I’m not complaining, it’s whatever to me.

 

As long as I sit with my Benji.

 

We got this huge math packet to work on together. When I say huge, I mean huge. There’s like, eighty fucking questions. Me and Ben worked on our packets while Trenton planned his party for the weekend. I said he could plan and he could copy off of my work when he’s done.

 

The rest of the groups were talking, so while they were on problems fifteen to twenty, me and Ben were on question forty-five.

 

That’s why you should shut the fuck up when you have to work, because when you’re finished ahead of everyone else, you can talk. If you talk while you do your work, you’ll get off task, and you’ll get in trouble for incomplete work. Isn’t the first option so much better? You finish your work, but you still get the opportunity to talk.

 

“Psst! New kid!” someone behind me taps my shoulder. I turn around to face the voice. They've been calling me 'new kid' for three days, it's getting pretty annoying. I forget about it when he hands me a folded paper. “It’s not from me.” I take it and turn back in my seat. It has my name messily written across the top of it. I unfold it and read it.

 

‘Ben's a fucking freak :) both of y’all can suck my dick okay bye

From DJ'

 

I glare and pick up my pencil and write back,

 

'DJ- or Dick Juice (get it? Cuz, DJ?),

You're a disgrace to this society.

Now, do me a favor, and fuck yourself with a cactus :)

And I’m pretty sure your dick is too small anyways so ya

From Big Daddy Worsnop'

 

I fold it and give it back to the boy, who decides to be a nosy cunt and read it before giving it to him.

 

"Oh, shit! Roasted!"

 

"Fucking what?!" DJ shouts angrily, motioning for him to give him the paper. He tosses him the paper, but Ms. King takes it before he can read much.

 

"I'll take that for you. You guys don't wanna start a fight right now, especially if you have a lot of work to do," Ms. King takes the paper away and reads it before stuffing it into her pocket.

 

"Passing notes. Mr. Reed, what number are you on?"

 

"Twelve," DJ shrugs.

 

"Mr. Worsnop? What about you?"

 

"Forty-five,” I answer proudly, gaining everyone’s attention. They all start shouting now like fucking animals, asking me for answers.

 

"Uh, Ben did most of the work," I announce, pointing at Ben, who awkwardly tries to shield himself.

 

"Nerd! Nerd! What's number seventeen?"

 

"What's number twenty-one, Nerd Freak?"

 

And they have the nerve to call Ben names right on front of me. I glance to Ben, who now had his earplugs in his ears to block them out (and Ms. King lets him).

 

But I also notice the tears in his eyes.

 

"Let's take a break," I whisper to him, not realizing that he can’t hear me. I stand up and grab his arm before pulling him out of the classroom.

 

Yeah, of course they shut up now.

 

It's only my third day, and I already hate my classmates.

 

I wait for Ben to calm down a bit before speaking.

 

"Did they do that before I came along?” I ask after I take his earplugs out so he can hear me. He nods, keeping his head hung low. I can also hear Ms. King yelling at the class.

 

I can’t help but feel awkward.

 

I hear a door open then close. I look at the classroom door next to ours and see another boy standing there awkwardly, staring at the two of us.

 

“Ms. King’s yelling? That’s new,” he chuckles until he glances at Ben. “Is he okay?”

 

“I-I’m f-fine,” Ben whispers so quietly, it’s barely audible. The boy didn’t hear what he said and cocked an eyebrow.

 

“Yeah, he just needs a break from those idiots,” I answer for him. The boy nods, understanding. “I’m Sam, by the way.” He holds a hand out for me to shake. People still greet each other that way?

 

“Danny,” I introduce myself as I shake his hand anyways. Sam holds a hand out for Ben to shake, but he only stares at it.

 

“Uh, is your friend okay?” Sam asks me as he pulls his hand back awkwardly. I smile sympathetically at Ben.

 

“Yeah, he’s just not really used to people talking to him,” I say, staring down at Ben. “Come on, Benji! Sam wants to be your friend! Right, Sam?” I then look up at Sam, who was smiling down at Ben. Ben looks up at him, then at me. I nod, telling him to just do it. Ben turns back to Sam, who puts his hand back up, and Ben shakily reaches his hand out towards Sam’s. He takes hold of his hand and Sam shakes it. Ben quickly shoves his hands in his pocket when Sam lets go.

 

“I-I’m Benjamin, b-but you can ju-just call m-me Ben,” Ben stutters. Sam smiles sadly at me.

 

“He doesn’t talk to other people much, he’s very shy,” I inform him. He nods understandingly.

 

“So, do you guys have any plans for Friday afternoon?” Sam asks.

 

Finally, someone who will actually talk to Ben. Trenton always talks to me, but acts like Ben doesn’t exist unless I bring him up.

 

Wait, shit. We do have plans this Friday.

 

“Yeah, my friend Trenton invited me to a party and I’m kinda forcing Benny here to come with me,” I chuckle. His smile seems to widen.

 

“Hey! I was actually gonna invite you two to come with me and my friends!” Sam chirps. “So I guess we can hang out this weekend!”

 

I nod with a smile, “Sounds great! I was actually trying to find more friends for Ben.” I pat Ben’s head, he ducks away from my hand with wide eyes. Sam only chuckles at us.

 

The door behind me opens. “You boys may come in- ah, I see you’ve met Mr. Bettley!” Ms. King chirps happily.

 

“Yeah! He’s trying to be Ben’s friend, too!” I chirp as well as I turn to face her. Her smile brightens beautifully.

 

“Yup! And I’m gonna introduce him to my friends this Friday!” Sam adds happily. “I think they’ll like him.”

 

I lean closer to Ben’s ear, “See, you’re not a loser.” I said that, remembering him calling himself a loser once.

 

Ben glances up at me, then back to the floor before shrugging.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's a bit late :( I was supposed to go home yesterday but my grandma decided to keep me at her house a bit longer. So, I'm updating on a shitty iPad and I apologize for any mistakes <3


	10. Chapter 10

The best part of the school day, lunch, in my favorite classroom, Ms. King’s room. Sounds nice. She even said that Sam could come with us, which is pretty great too.

  
Ben and I are waiting by the cafeteria door for Sam. I scan the room for him, I’m pretty sure I saw him walk in here but I don’t see him anymore. My eyes stop scanning when I see him standing by a table with five people sitting at. He’s talking to them, then he looks over at Ben and I and smiles before pointing at us. Ben’s not one for having attention on him, so I’m not surprised when he moves to hide himself behind me a bit. All of his friends turn to look at us and smile, a few of them waving. I smile and wave back at the friendly teenagers.

  
Sam finally makes his way over to us afterwards, greeting us when he does get here. We walk to Ms. King’s class, and Sam says something.

  
“Ben, the girls said that you were cute,” Sam chuckles, then chuckles some more when he blushes. No surprise there either.

  
“I-I don’t see how,” Ben replies to him.

  
“You don’t see how? You’re fucking adorable, Ben!” Sam laughs as he ruffles his fluffy hair a bit, making Ben blush even more.

  
“I agree on that,” I add.

  
“Awh, come on, Ben! You know we're right!" Sam laughs.

  
"I refuse!" Ben says as we approach the classroom. We walk in and sit at our table, the one closest to the door. Ms. King didn't seem to notice us come in as she continues scrolling through her laptop as she nibbles on an apple.

  
"Uh, hey, Ms. King," I greet her, gaining her attention. She smiles at us.

  
"Hey, guys!" she greets back before going back to whatever she was looking at.

  
“What’re you doing?” Sam asks her, turning in his chair to straddle it, facing the teacher.

  
“I’m on Tumblr,” she answers, taking another bite off her apple.

  
“You have Tumblr?” he asks excitedly. “Do you follow for follow?”

  
“No. I take it that you want me to follow you, then?”

  
“Yeah.”

  
“Okay,” Ms. King responds as she grabs a small tablet off her desk along with a pen, scribbling something down on it before holding it out. Sam goes to retrieve it.

  
“I’ll follow you when I get home,” Sam tells her as he comes back over to sit in front of us again.

  
“Did you  _really_  just get Ms. King’s Tumblr?” I ask as I raise an eyebrow, amused by what just went down.

  
“Shamelessly,” he answers as he folds the small sheet of paper and tucking it in his pocket. I roll my eyes as I get up to go take a piss.


	11. Chapter 11

When I walk into the room, I see Ben and Sam chatting away. I also notice a small blush on Ben’s sweet little face, shaking his head furiously.

  
I take my seat next to Ben.

  
“Hey, you guys know what’s interesting?” I ask, gaining their attention.

  
“What?” Sam asks curiously, leaning closer. Ben just turns his head to face me.

  
“When I was in the hallway, someone told me that they shipped me and Ben,” I say amusingly, making Sam chuckle and Ben blush more.

  
“Ah, well, then I guess I’ll ship it too! How’s that?” Sam laughs. “We gotta get you guys a ship name!” So, me and Sam shot ship ideas at each other, most of them not even making sense until Ben suggested one.

  
“Eh, what about  _Brusnop_? Wouldn’t that one be better than the ones you guys are naming?” I smile, liking the sound of it.

  
“Brusnop,” Sam says with a nod, considering it. “Bru- _snaaaaaaaahp_. Hmm. Brusnop it is!”

  
“Well,” I chuckle, throwing an arm around Ben’s shoulders. He flinches a little bit, but quickly calms down. “We’re Brusnop!” I take my arm down when I pull my granola bar out of my pocket and take it out of the wrapper. I break it in half and offer the bigger half to Ben, being the awesome friend I am. He pushes it away and shakes his head, telling me he didn’t want it.

  
“You’re parents love to stuff you up at home, huh?” I chuckle. He nods.

  
“Can I have it, Danny?” Sam asks for the half of the granola bar.

  
“Nope! I don’t share food with anybody, but Ben’s an exception!” I say.

  
“Awh, please?”

  
“Fine, but only because you’re trying to be Ben’s friend. But this is the last time I’m sharing my food with you,” I say, giving him the smaller half of the granola bar instead of the one I offered Ben. He takes it, raising an eyebrow at my words. It’s okay, because I don’t fucking care whether or not people know I’m gay or not.

  
I just haven’t told my parents yet. I don’t think I will until I move out. I don’t know if they’re  _homophobic_  or not.

  
We spend the rest of lunch, just sitting there, talking, inviting Ms. King into it occasionally, because she’s cool like that.

  
<><><>

  
Before I knew it, it was the last class of the day. What’s funny about this class is the fact that Sam’s in this class too but I never noticed. Probably because his desk is in the back corner of the room, while I’m in the front corner, diagonally across from him. It’s nice to know that I actually have a friend in another class, I guess.

  
We’re free to do whatever the fuck we wanted, since we had a substitute, and this substitute was awesome as fuck and said we could do whatever and started blasting Slipknot through his headphones (which devastated half of the class).

  
So, that’s why Sam is on his knees next to my desk, playing some game on his iPhone. I had out my notebook, writing a bunch of stuff that came to mind down.

  
_‘I was meant to make you smile!  
I was meant to make you shine!’_

  
I stare at the words I just wrote. Now, where did that come from?

  
“Did you say something, mate?” Sam asks me, pulling me out of my trance.

  
“I said that out loud?” He nods.

  
“I randomly wrote this,” I tell him, staring down at the words. He smiles when he reads them.

  
“Maybe about Ben? You  _are_  trying to make him smile, and shine, you know?,” Sam suggests with a shrug. I nod, staring down at the words.

  
I guess I’m in this Benworld  _way_  too much, and this here is proof.

  
“Oh, and can I read what you got in that notebook?” Sam asks. I shrug and nod, why the hell not? He takes the notebook off the desk and I watch as he reads. He flips through the pages, making it obvious that he likes what he’s reading. After flipping to a certain page and reading, he chuckles.

  
“ _Murderous!_  My kind of thing!” Sam chuckles with a smile. I raise an eyebrow at him.

  
“What?” I ask. He puts the notebook down and points at a full stanza.

  
 _‘Oh, the bullet’s gone!_  
I take this spade, I slit your throat!  
You fall into your grave!  
I cover up my tracks, I’m done!  
I won’t kill again!  
I said that’s it, I’m done!’

  
I smirk at my work. Forgot about that one!

  
“You could make a song about this!” Sam suggests. I shrug again, not really fancying the idea of writing a whole song about killing and slitting throats with things that weren’t made to be doing such.

  
“Eh, maybe one day.” Not exactly a lie, writing songs  _does_  sound quite enjoyable.

  
“Oh, I wanna ask you this question that randomly popped up in my mind!” Sam chirps. I raise an eyebrow again.

  
“Shoot.”

  
“Do you like Ben?” he asks as he leans closer to me.

  
“Damn, is it really that obvious?” I ask him, feeling myself blush. He leans back, a bit shocked.

  
“N-no, I was just asking, you know?” he says. Fuck, Sam probably hates me.

  
“Are you homophobic?” I mutter sadly without thinking first.

  
“No, no, my girlfriend is bisexual, actually!” he chuckles, smiling now. I found it kinda amusing that he felt he had to bring up his girlfriend’s sexuality to prove his point. “You and Ben would be cute together.”

  
That didn’t help my blush  _at all_. I’m probably red like a fucking tomato.

  
“Let’s change the subject now. I saw you in that fight yesterday,” Sam chuckles. I chuckle as I remember yesterday afternoon.

  
“Yeah, he deserved it,” I say.

  
“What’d he do?”

  
“He said something I didn’t like,” I shrug.

  
“What’d he say?”

  
“He called Ben a freak,” I answer with a frown. Sam does the same.

  
“Yeah, almost everyone calls him that,” he starts, making me frown more. “There’s a decent amount that leaves him alone, but still a lot who fucks with him.”

  
“Why would they do that to him?” I ask, trying to get more information.

  
“I don’t know. I only started attending school here a couple weeks ago, to be honest. You can ask one of my friends at the party this Friday. I’m sure they’ll tell you.”

  
“Why didn’t they tell you?”

  
“They didn’t want me to join in on the bullying.”

  
“Why didn’t they try to help?”

  
“They know how he likes to keep to himself, and he  _hates_  talking to people.”

  
“But what makes you think they’ll tell me?”

  
“Because I know they know that you're his best friend. But I can tell you that I hear people whispering about you guys sometimes. They say you have a lot of guts and you’re risking your reputation.”

  
“Are you serious? Why?”

  
“That, you’ll have to ask my friends.”

  
I wanna know right fucking now, but he doesn’t know either! So what the fuck can I do about it? Fucking  _nothing_.

  
And why do they think it’s so hard being Ben’s friend? He’s so sweet and caring and adorable and soft and he smells so good! Why can’t they just give him a chance?

  
Sam finally gave him a chance after two weeks, and he likes Ben.

  
I gave Ben a chance, and I  _love_  Ben.

  
Ms. King gave him a chance, too. She’s quite fond of Ben. She likes me and Sam a lot just for being his friend.

  
I can’t help but wonder why Trenton’s one of her favorite students, because when he hangs out with the two of us, he acts like Ben’s not even standing right fucking next to me.

  
But I can’t help but to find Trenton kinda fun to be around. Maybe it’s how excitable and hyper he is. He’s just so happy and carefree and it’s pretty contagious.

  
I wish it would rub onto Ben, make him a bit happier.

  
Maybe even smile.

  
“Hey, Sam?” I ask him.

  
“Yeah?”

  
“Do you think I’ll ever get Ben to smile for me?” Sam merely chuckles and puts a hand on my shoulder.

  
“Don’t worry, Danny! It’s only been three days! You’ll see him smile eventually!” Sam explains. I nod. He’s right, I shouldn’t stress over the lack of his smile so soon. It’s only been three days.

  
But three days is a lot to wait.

  
<><><>

  
Trenton ended up dragging me out of the school building. I felt guilty, because Ben usually walks with me after school. I felt better when I saw Ben walking with Sam and some other girl. She was giggling and poking his cheek that wasn’t bruised, making him flinch. Sam laughs.

  
“I invited that boy and that girl over there, too! You see them?” Trenton chirps, pointing at Sam and the girl. I nod.

  
“Yeah, the guy’s Sam. He’s my friend,” I inform him.

  
“Cool!” He suddenly stops walking. “My big brother Waldo’s gonna pick me up here. Bye, Danny!”

  
“Bye, Trenton!” With that, I wave and run over to Sam and Ben and the girl. I trip halfway there, but they didn’t seem to notice.

  
But Ben did.

  
He turned around and walked over to me. Sam and the girl didn’t even notice him leave their side. Ben crouches down next to me.

  
“I would help you up, but I’m kinda weak,” he says shyly. I nod the best I can.

  
“It’s no problem, Benji!” I chirp. “How was your hump day so far?” He raises an eyebrow, amused by my choice of words.

  
“Hump day? Is it like, the day you fuck people?” he asks. I laugh.

  
“You’re dirty minded! I thought you were innocent!” I chuckle at him.

  
“You thought wrong, Dan,” he says as I try to get up. He grabs onto my arm and pulls, trying to help me up. He’s not as weak as he made himself out to be.

  
“How was your hump day?” I ask him again. He shrugs.

  
“Well, I didn’t hump anyone, so I don’t know,” he says with a straight face, which is usually how he talks. I laugh at his view of hump day. I explain to him why we call Wednesday ‘Hump Day’, and he nods understandingly.

  
“It was pretty good, but not as good as Monday.”

  
“How so?” I ask him, raising an eyebrow.

  
“I got a new friend today, but on Monday, I got you.” I blush and pull him in for a hug, liking his words, but he flinched out of my grasp.

  
“Sorry, Danny,” he apologizes, avoiding eye contact. I smile sadly at him.

  
“No, I’m sorry. I should know you’re not a person for hugs at all.” He shakes his head.

  
“No, no, it’s my fault.”

  
“How?”

  
Silence.

  
“Nevermind.”

  
“No, why do you freak out so much when I hug you?” I ask him, remembering all the times he freaked out when I held him. It was only twice that I held him without him freaking out like that. The night he slept over at my house. The first time, I was holding him in my sleep while he was writing in his journal, which he quickly moved out of my arms when I woke up. The second time was when I woke up in the morning and we were practically cuddling.

  
“It’s, uh, no reason.”

  
Another mystery to solve.

  
Sam claims that his friends knows the answer to some of the questions I have about Ben, so I’ll be sure to talk to them on Friday. I’m quite sure Sam would like to know, too, so I’ll tell him what I find out.

  
<><><>

  
“I’m home!” I shout as I step into the house.

  
Silence.

  
“And I brought Ben!”

  
“Welcome!”

  
Oh, so you can reply to my friend, but you can’t reply to me? Oh well, at least they like Ben, so I’m pretty happy.

  
I drag Ben upstairs to my room and close the door behind me. I offer him a wide smile.

  
“My parents love you, mate,” I tell him. He nods. I’m glad he knows.

  
“I honestly don’t know why,” he replies, looking to the floor.

  
“Because you’re amazing, Benji! Who the fuck wouldn’t love you?”

  
Bad response...

  
He frowns and turns his back towards me.

  
“Are you okay?” I whisper to him, walking over to him slowly.

  
“It’s fine, don’t worry about me.” I feel like such a fucking douche.

  
“Ben, I know what I said bothered you.”

  
“It didn’t.”

  
“Look me in the eye and tell me it didn’t.” He only shakes his head. “So it  _did_  bother you?” No response.

  
“I now know how to tell whether or not you’re lying to me, so you might as well tell me the truth from now on. So, tell me. Are you okay?”

  
He sniffs a bit, turning around. I watch him as he drags his feet over to me, head hung low. But what surprises me is when he wraps his arms around me and starts to cry into my chest.

 

  
I kinda freak out a bit, because I don’t know if I should wrap my arms around him or what. I settle on patting the top of his head.

  
“It’s not fair,” he manages to whisper. “So unfair.”

  
“It’s okay, buddy. Everything will be alright,” I reassure the crying boy holding onto me for dear life.

  
“But it hurts,” he whispers again.

  
“I know it does, but there are people that care. You know I’m here.”

 

  
“Please, don’t ever leave me, Danny,” he cries, holding onto me tighter. “I don’t want you to leave me, too.”

  
_Too?_

  
“I’ll never leave you, I promise.” I finally wrap my arms around his waist and pull the sobbing boy closer to me.

  
And he doesn’t freak out and back away.

  
Our first proper hug.

  
“Thank you, Danny,” Ben whispers.

  
“Anything for you, Benji.”


	12. Chapter 12

Ben and I decided to have him spend the night again tonight. He said he needed to get some stuff from his house before he could and I offered to tag along. He refused just like last time, but being the stubborn little fuck I am, I went with him anyways.  
  
So here I am, walking to Ben’s house with him. He seems kinda off about this which made me feel bad. I had asked him what was bothering him but he only told me that I went against his wishes and went with him anyways. It’s probably not even the truth but I left it at that anyways.  
  
We finally arrive at his house after a while. His house isn’t far from mine, but not close either. It must be hell having to walk to and from school every day, just saying.  
  
As we approach the house, Ben turns to face me, looking serious.  
  
“Try not to make a single sound. Be as quiet as possible,” he whispers seriously. I nod and he turns around and stealthily walks up to the door, me following in the same manner. When he slowly opens the door, I hear two people yelling. I recognize the two voices to be one male, one female. I also pick up on the weird scent of the house. I give Ben a questioning look but he doesn’t see it. Ben sneaks up the stairs and motions for me to stay but I follow him instead. I’d feel awkward standing in his smelly living room while I listen to who I assume to be his parents yelling at each other.  
  
I follow Ben into his room. When I step in, the smell of cigarettes hit me. I also noticed a couple of empty bottles on the nightstand. I recognize some of them to be Monster and others some sort of beer. Ben notices me in the room and frowns a bit disapprovingly. I smile apologetically and he shrugs his reply.  
  
“Sorry about the mess,” he whispers quietly as he moves to lock the door behind us.  
  
“So, you drink and smoke?” I ask out of nowhere, forgetting to whisper. His eyes widen as he scurries over to me and covers my mouth with his hand.  
  
“Yes, and you gotta be quiet!” he whispers panickely. He pales and freezes on the spot when we hear the door knob twisting as if someone was trying to get in.  
  
“Ben, who’s that in your room?” a raspy voice growls from the other side of the door, making Ben freak out. I think the voice got angry when Ben didn’t do anything.  
  
“Benjamin Paul Bruce, open this fucking door now!” I see tears start to well up in his eyes and I realize the situation we’re in.  
  
I look around the room for a window to climb out of. No fucking windows. I do see a closet, and drag Ben over to it. I open it quickly before shoving Ben inside, closing it quietly.  
  
I can’t go in there with him since they already heard me. If I’m missing too, they’ll look and definitely find Ben.  
  
I walk away from the closet just as the door flies open, an angry man stepping in and glaring at me.  
  
“ _Who_  the fuck are  _you_?” he spits at me, looking me up and down before glaring at me once again. Hatred, disgust. He must not know what ugly is if he looks at  _me_  like that, God damn...  
  
“I’m Ben’s friend.  _What_  the fuck are  _you_?” I mock him and his tone.  
  
“Friend? How does  _that_  faggot have friends?”  
  
“ _Faggot_? You may as well be the faggot if you’re gonna call him one,” I growl at him, annoyed by this prick who looks like one of the goblins jumped out of the TV while I was watching Labyrinth. Those ugly ass things gave my ass nightmares.  
  
Who fucked this guy and why???  
  
“I’m no  _faggot_ , boy! He’s the one who decided he wanted to shag other boys!” he barks at me. I grit my teeth as my fists clench.  
  
“Ew, another fucking homophobic asshole. I kicked so much homophobic ass before I moved, it’s ridiculous!”  
  
“What-the-fuck-ever, where the fuck is Ben?”  
  
“He’s at my house. He wanted me to get his stuff.”  
  
“Well, tell him to hurry up and come home. My friends are coming over later, and this house needs to be cleaned. Don’t suck each other’s dicks too hard while you’re at it, fags.” Before I could back Ben up again, he slams the door shut, before opening it again. “And hurry up and get the fuck out of my fucking house, you faggot!” Then the door is slammed shut again. I stick up my middle finger at the door, like  _that’s_  gonna do anything.  
  
It kinda makes me feel a tiny bit better.  
  
I make sure he’s gone before opening the closet door again. I see Ben sitting there, eyes wide, gaping at the floor.  
  
“Ben? You okay?” I ask, staring down at him with sad eyes.  
  
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, getting up and walking out of the closet.  
  
“For what? You didn’t do anything wrong.”  
  
“No, I didn’t want you to find out that way. I wanted to tell you myself,” he tells me. “I didn’t want you to think of me as a faggot, so I wanted to make sure you weren’t homophobic first. I’m sorry, Danny.”  
  
“I’d be hypocritical if I  _was_  homophobic. I’m gay, too, Benny-boy.”  
  
A small silence.  
  
“Oh, Danny?” he asks, turning around to face me. He was blushing a bit.  
  
 _Oh, shit! He’s gonna ask me out, I just now it!_  
  
“Yeah?” I ask him with a blush of my own.  
  
“Uh...can you...not tell Sam?”  
  
 _Danny, just because he’s gay doesn’t mean he loves you. Chill the fuck out and move on._  
  
“Yeah, I’ll keep it a secret,” I smile at him, feeling quite disappointed.  
  
“Thanks.”  
  
“Well, let’s try to get you to my house before he comes back, okay?”  
  
“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”


	13. Chapter 13

When we finally get to my house, my mom was waiting in the living room, worried on the spot. She rushes over to us when she sees us walk in. She squishes me in a hug, kissing me on the forehead as she does.

  
“You should’ve told me you guys were leaving! I was worried since you usually do,” she sighs, letting me go.

  
“Sorry, Mom,” I apologize. She smiles warmly at me before looking to Ben. Her smile fades away and replaces it with a frown.

  
“Ben, honey, what happened to your cheek?” she asks. “It looks like it hurt.”

  
“Oh, uh, my dad accidentally hit me this morning.”

  
I know that his response from this morning was a lie now, of course.

  
“I’m gonna bring Ben to my room, now,” I say. “Love you, Mom.”

  
“Love you too, Danny! Bye, Ben!”

  
“Bye,” Ben says softly as he follows me upstairs to my room. I lock the door behind me and turn to Ben.

  
“Alright, Ben. How did you get that bruise under your eye? ” I ask him, crossing my arms.

  
“I told you, Danny. My dad hit me.”

  
“Yeah, you also said it was an accident. Now, is that the truth?” He doesn’t say anything. He just stares at me.

  
“So, is that a no?” He nods slowly.

  
“So, you’re abused at home?” I whisper sadly, dreading the answer to come. Tears well up in his eyes as he nods. My heart just about shatters into a million pieces and I open my arms, asking if he wanted a hug. He walks over to me and wraps his arms around me, squeezing me in a hug. I wrap my arms around his waist and pull him closer. He winces, and I loosen my grip a bit.

  
“Sorry,” I apologize.

  
“It’s fine.”

  
We stand there in the middle of the room, just hugging each other, allowing me to let this sink in.

  
“Benny?” I ask when I’m done thinking for now.

  
“Yeah?”

  
“How long?” I ask as I start to stroke his soft hair again. “How long have they been treating you this way?”

  
We stood in silence for about a good ten seconds before he replied. “Uh, around two years.”

  
“That’s fucking unacceptable,” I growl, making him flinch. He buries his face into my chest and mumbles something into it.

  
“You know I don’t want you over there, right?” I tell him. He nods his head.

  
“But what can you do about it, Danny?” he whispers, pulling his head up a bit so I could understand him.

  
“Make sure you don’t go back. You can stay here. Even  _Sam’s_  house if you can’t stay here,” I answer him seriously.

  
“I gotta go back eventually. I mean, my stuff’s still there.”

  
“Well, I’ll go get it tomorrow or something.”

  
“What about your parents? I don’t wanna intrude.” I shake my head, even though he can’t see it.

  
“They love you, Ben. You’re like another son to them,” I answer truthfully.

  
“But we don’t know each other…”

  
“So? They love you.”

  
Silence.

  
“Well, where would I sleep?” he asks me, finally looking up at me. I smile.

  
“You could sleep where you slept on Monday; in my bed with me!” I cheer as I move my arms from his waist to tickle his sides instead. He squeals and giggles as he tries to get away, and I  _swear_  he’s smiling!

  
I quickly grab his face and lift it back up, making him wince in pain. He already stopped smiling though. The bastard saw it coming, huh?

  
“I’m not letting you see my smile,” Ben informs me before I could even open my mouth to ask.

  
“You will one day, though, right?”

  
“Doubt it.”

  
“Benji, why won’t you let me see your smile?”

  
“It’s ugly. Very,  _very_  ugly Yours is nice though,” he says, pushing the corner of my lips up with a callused finger.

  
“You like my smile?” I ask him, thinking up a plan.

  
“Yeah,” he says, taking his hand down.

  
“Well, I won’t let you see my smile if you don’t let me see yours!” He groans and removes his arms from me and drags his feet over to the bed, allowing himself to fall onto it, burying his face into the pillow.

  
“But I’m hiding an ugly smile! You’re hiding a beautiful one!” he whines into the pillow. I smirk and walk over to him, plopping down on top of him, causing him to groan. He starts thrashing around, trying to throw me off.

  
“Danny! You’re heavy!” he cries.

  
“Let me see your smile!” I sing, pinning his arms down so he’ll stop hitting me as much.

  
“But Danny!” he cries again.

  
“But Benji!” I mock his tone.

  
“You’re gonna be sad when I die from being asphyxiated! And you’re gonna have to live with the guilt forever because you’ll know it was all your fault!” he cries again.

  
“I know! Isn’t it tragic?” I cry with him, laughing on the inside.

  
“Danny!” he cries loudly, dragging my name out. “It hurts! It hurts! Please get off of me! I’ll smile!” I guiltily roll off of him so I’m laying next to him. I wait for him to catch his breath as he rolls onto his side to face me. His face was really red.

  
Shit, at least he’s letting me see his smile, I guess.

  
When he finally catches his breath, he speaks up. “I’m not letting you see my smile, I just didn’t want you to kill me.” I frown, but replace it with a smirk.

  
“I’ll have to force you to smile, then,” I mutter. He cocks an eyebrow.

  
“What?” Instead of answering, I begin tickling him again.

  
It does make him smile, but I still didn’t get to see it.

  
His hands fly up to his mouth, covering his smile.

  
But maybe it’ll still be there when I pull them down.

  
I tickle him for a few more seconds before yanking his hands down.

  
And I finally see it.

  
:)


	14. Chapter 14

I feel on top of the fucking world after being able to achieve such an accomplishment as this. His smile makes mine widen.  
  
“What ever made you think your smile was ugly? It’s fucking adorable!” I giggle, causing him to blush.  
  
“Well, you won’t see it anymore! I’ll hide it!” he tries to defend himself. I chuckle at him.  
  
“Why do you think it’s ugly?” I ask him, only getting a shrug in return.  
  
“Eh… Some asshole in school did something...”  
  
“Care to enlighten me?”  
  
He shrugs again and looks down at his hands in his lap.  
  
“It was two years ago, around when the bullying first started.” I nod my head, telling him to continue.  
  
He starts fidgeting nervously. “Do I  _have_  to tell you?”  
  
I smile sadly at him. “I prefer you to so I can help you, Benny-boy.”  
  
“I was...uh...hanging out with my… _boyfriend_  and his friend-”  
  
“Wait,  _boyfriend?!_ ” I cut him off, feeling bad after I do. I guess I’m just not really a good listener, then. I’ll try to work on that. He nods shyly at my question before continuing.  
  
“Anyways, his friend didn’t like me so much…” he continues as he starts playing with his hands. “He kept telling me how weird I looked. He ended up changing the topic to how ugly my smile was, and my boyfriend didn’t do anything. He only laughed, so I figured that it was ugly.”  
  
“You know that they’re full of bullshit, right?” I ask him. He shrugs again.  
  
“Who are they, anyways? Do they go to our school?”  
  
“Yeah, but don’t worry about it.” I sigh, knowing that I probably won’t get anything else out of him on this topic. I try again.  
  
“So, how many boyfriends have you had?” I ask.  
  
“Uh…” he murmurs as he thinks. “I think...maybe three?”  
  
“When?” I ask him, now very curious.  
  
“I had my first one in 5th grade, my second in 8th, and the third in 10th.”  
  
“I’m straight up about to get into your love life,” I chuckle, and he looks a bit amused himself. “Can you tell me about them?”  
  
“The one from 5th grade’s name was Chance.” He starts. “How we met was weird. It was at recess, and I was playing on the slide with two other friends. We thought it’d be fun if we all went down the slide next to each other, and I fell over the side. I fell on someone, who happened to be Chance.”  
  
I chuckle at him. “Love at first fall,” I mock him.  
  
“Whatever, Danny!” he says as he rolls his eyes. “Chance was a good boyfriend, actually, for a fifth grader. We only broke up because he had to move to Paris.”  
  
“Sorry, mate.”  
  
“No worries. My 8th grade boyfriend was Xavier. I met him in a pretty weird way, too. I wasn’t paying attention when I was walking to the store and ran into a lamp post.”  
  
I managed to hold back my laugh that time, somehow. The thought was just so funny.  
  
“Xavier happened to be walking by and saw it, and laughed, of course. But he did ask if I was okay. We talked for a bit, and boom, we’re friends.”  
  
“What’d you guys talk about?”  
  
“We talked about how clumsy we were. We’re both extremely clumsy. We told each other our embarrassing clumsy moments!” I smile and nod, telling him to continue.  
  
I’m expecting him to tell me some at some point.  
  
“We started dating a few months later. Everything was great at first, but then he started spending less time with me and coming up with a stupid excuse, which was always ‘ _oh, I gotta go to the bathroom_ ’ or some shit like that.”  
  
I can’t help but giggle at the voice he put on to mock Xavier’s.  
  
“I knew something was up and started investigating like the awesome ninja you say I am.”  
  
I smirk as I remember calling him a ninja on Monday.  
  
Throwback, huh?  
  
“Turns out he was dating a girl behind my back.”  
  
“That’s fucked up,” I say, glaring at nothing in particular. Why would someone cheat on Ben, the definition of perfection? Fuck, why would someone cheat in the first place?  
  
“Yeah, but not as fucked up as the boy I dated in tenth.”  
  
 _Oh boy._  
  
“We met kinda like the way we both met, we had the opportunity to work with a partner. Only difference, I went up to him and asked.”  
  
I have to admit that that bit of information surprised me a bit. Ben actually  _approaching_  someone? I can imagine Ben walking into a lamp post but willingly participating in any form of social interaction with a stranger? Maybe this ex-boyfriend of his has something to do with this, I can’t help but think.  
  
“Yeah. And another difference, he kept flirting with me.  
  
“Obviously, we ended up going out. Except he didn’t want anyone to know about us. Apparently, no one knew he was gay and he liked it that way. After a few months, people got suspicious. And I’m telling you,  _everyone_  was homophobic then. So he broke up with me and went and got a girlfriend so no one would find out.  
  
“He straight-up turned against me, too. He’s the one who told everyone I was gay, so they started bullying me. He joined in too so he could protect his fucking reputation. I was okay with people calling me gay and shit like that, I mean, why would that offend me? But after a while he took it too far and told everyone all of my secrets, so that’s how everyone started calling me a freak.  
  
“It’s kinda why I don’t let people in, too. I trusted him but what did my trust mean to him? Fucking  _nothing_.”  
  
Bye the time he finished, I was speechless. I speak up after letting everything sink in.  
  
“Do I know these secrets?”  
  
“No, no you don’t. And I don’t want you to know. I don’t want you to leave me.”  
  
“Benji, I told you. I’d never leave you,” I assure him. “I want you to trust me.”  
  
“I do trust you, just not with these secrets. I’m sorry, Danny.” I sigh and nod, understanding why. He trusted his dick of a boyfriend and look what he did. His peers have been making fun of him for two years because he trusted him.  
  
“Hey, but what if I find out one day?” I ask him. He shrugs.  
  
“We’ll just have to find out if or when that day comes,” he says.  
  
“Yeah. Wanna go see what’s for dinner?” He shakes his head no.  
  
“I’m not really hungry,” he answers me. “I’m about to take a nap, though.”  
  
“Okay, I will too,” I say as I kick my boots off before laying down on the bed, Ben following. “My mom or dad should wake us for dinner.”  
  
“I like your parents. They’re nice,” he tells me as he scoots closer and snuggles into my side. I smile as I gently wrap an arm around him.  
  
“They like you too.”  
  
“I know,” he says as he closes his eyes. Only a few seconds later, soft snoring is heard coming from the small boy laying next to me. Poor thing, he must’ve been really tired. I can see that he goes through a lot, but he doesn’t have to go through it alone anymore, never again.  
  
With that in mind, I drift off to sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

“Wake up, boys!” my dad’s loud voice calls, waking me up. “If you sleep now, you won’t be able to sleep tonight!”  
  
I look to Ben, who didn’t even stir. I shake him gently until his eyes flutter open.  
  
“Dad wants you to wake up.” He groans and rolls over so that he’s laying on his belly, face buried in the pillow.  
  
“I don’t wanna get up!” I manage to hear him whine.  
  
“I don’t either, but I’m up,” I tell him as I sit up, pulling him up with me.  
  
“Boo,” he groans as he removes himself from my arms to get out of bed. I get out of bed too.  
  
“What do you wanna do?” I ask him before quickly adding, “And going back to sleep is not an option.” He groans, earning a smile from me.  
  
"You can tell me some stuff about you since it's always you asking me the questions," he suggests. True…  
  
"Well, what do you wanna know about me?" I ask as I sit on the floor, completely ignoring the bed that was literally right there but okay…  
  
"I don't know. Uh...Just tell me anything. Your love life, maybe, since I told you about mine?"  
  
I chuckle at the memories.  
  
"I used to bang whores in eleventh grade. I didn’t find it all that appealing but then there was this dude one night… Damn..."  
  
"Uh...okay?" he says awkwardly as his face reddens cutely.  
  
"What else do you wanna know?"  
  
"Um...I don't know. This conversation is kinda awkward."  
  
"Well, wanna go downstairs and watch TV?" He nods.  
  
"I wanna watch TV, but I don't wanna go downstairs," he sighs lazily.  
  
"Then shall I carry you down?" I smirk as I perch myself into gargoyle position next to him.  
  
"Uh..." is all he mumbles. I roll my eyes and motion for him to get on my back. He hesitates for a second before he actually does get on.  
  
"This'll be fun!" I cheerfully chirp as I hook my arms under his knees. "I'm about to get up!"  
  
I push myself up from the floor effortlessly. He's really light, which makes picking him up quite enjoyable. Ben clings tightly onto me as I do, trying desperately not to fall. Psh, like I’d let that happen.  
  
"Downstairs we go!" I cheer as I point at the door. I march out of the room quickly, Ben tightens his grip on the collar of my shirt, if that was even possible.  
  
"Danny, slow down! We'll fall!" he whines as we approach the stairs.  
  
"No we won't! We'll get there safely!" I smile as I start jumping-  _literally_ , down the stairs.  
  
"Danny, I'm too heavy! We'll fall!" he whines again.  
  
"Ben, you're not heavy at all," I tell him before taking one huge jump downstairs, skipping quite a few of them. My feet landed on the edge of one of the steps before sliding dangerously down a few of them. I let go of Ben’s legs to slam my palms against the walls next to me, slowing us down before we tumble down the rest of the stairs.  
  
"See?! We almost fell!" he whines.  
  
"Yeah, but that was my fault!"  
  
He doesn't say anything else as I finish jumping down the stairs. I march to the couch and drop Ben down onto the couch. I grab the TV remote before sitting next to him.  
  
"Dinner's almost ready, boys!" Dad calls from the kitchen. I smile.  
  
"You gonna eat this time?" I ask Ben as I start flipping through the channels. He shakes his head.  
  
"Not really hungry," he answers again as he watches the channels change from one to another on the TV screen.  
  
"You sure? My parents make really good food.” He nods.  
  
"I'm sure. Thanks."  
  
I give up on looking for something good to watch and toss the remote onto the couch. We're just gonna have to watch whatever the hell is on this channel. It’s some sort of cartoon, that’s all I know.  
  
After of watching whatever the heck was on, I speak up.  
  
"I'll probably go to your house around midnight-ish for your stuff," I tell him.  
  
"You were actually serious? You're letting me stay with you?" he asks as I see him turn to look at me from the corner of my eye.  
  
"Duh. As long as my parents don't mind," I smile as I turn to look at him too. "We can even make it seem like you're having a bunch of sleepovers here, and maybe some days, we'll have you go to Sam's house so it's not too suspicious, yeah?"  
  
"Um...I guess it sounds pretty okay."  
  
"Yeah, everything will be okay, now," I assure him. He merely sighs sadly and leans his head on my shoulder.


	16. Chapter 16

Getting Ben’s stuff wasn’t a walk through the park at all. I tried to make as less trips as possible by taking more of Ben’s stuff at a time, but unfortunately, I don’t have a car or nothing so I had to fucking do this on foot. I did it for Ben so the unbearable ache in my chest is worth it.

  
I tiptoe into my room with the last of Ben's stuff and drop it into the corner, where all of his other stuff is. We'd figure out where to put it when he woke up in the morning. It’s too early to do it now, I mean, who wants to deal with this at one in the fucking morning?

  
I change into something comfortable before heading over to the bed and getting in next to Ben, who was already asleep and snoring softly.

  
"Danny?" he mumbles sleepily.

  
Fuck, looks like I woke him up.

  
"Yeah, Benny?" I answer him.

  
"Where'd you go?"

  
"I got your stuff."

  
"I can't believe you actually did that for me. You're the best."

  
"I'm the Dsnop!" Ben chuckles sleepily, but he hides his smile when he does. I scowl.

  
"You know, I think you’re smile is really beautiful. If you don't want to smile in front of other people, fine, but can you at least smile for me?"

  
Ben's eyes flutter open, finally, and he stares up at me. After a while, he finally nods. I smile.

  
"Can you smile for me?" I plead. He gives me a small, sweet smile, making my own smile widen.

  
“See? You have a beautiful smile. I love your smile,” I tell him as I wrap an arm around him and pull him closer to me.

  
“If you say so, Danny. Night,” he yawns shortly before he’s slightly snoring once again.

  
<><><>

  
“Hey, guys!” Sam chirps as he sits at the table with us. “You guys excited about the party tomorrow? I am!”

  
“Why so excited about it?” Ben asks him, raising an eyebrow.

  
“I want you guys to meet my friends!  _Duh_!” Sam cheers.

  
“I  _really_  don’t want to go, but Danny’s making me.”

  
“You’ll enjoy yourself!” I try to convince him. Ben rolls his eyes.

  
I then suddenly remember something from last night.

  
I turn to Ben. “Benny-boy, do you think you’ll be okay by yourself with Ms. King for a couple minutes? I gotta talk with Sam.”

  
He nods.

  
“Is it okay if I tell him about your parents?” I whisper so no one else hears. He sighs.

  
“Just don’t tell him I’m gay, I don’t want him to find out just yet.” I smile sadly and nod. I understand, but he’s gonna find out sooner or later. I mean, everyone in the school knows, right? He’s gotta pick it up somewhere.

  
Like I’m gonna hear of Ben’s secrets from somewhere.

  
I get up and motion for Sam to follow me out of the classroom and into the hallway, who was staring at me curiously. He gets up and follows me out of the classroom, I close the door behind us.

  
“What’s going on?” he asks me. I look around the hallway, being sure no one was around to hear us. When I see the coast is clear, I start.

  
“I don’t want Ben going home anymore,” I tell him seriously.

  
“Why?” he asks, noticing my seriousness.

  
“Well, I found out that his parents don’t treat him very nicely at home at all,” I say sadly.

  
“ _Are you fucking serious?!_ ” Sam exclaims, his outburst echoes through the halls. Thankfully, no one bothered to see what was going on. Probably assumed it was a few hooligans wandering the hallway during lunch.

  
“Keep it down, I’m only telling you because he said I could tell you!” I lecture him for speaking too loud.

  
“Sorry, and did you kick their asses yet? Oh boy, I’m ready to kick some ass!” he growls, cracking his knuckles dramatically.

  
That’s what you see in cheesy-ass movies and books. It’s irritating.

  
“No, don’t worry about it for now. We need to discuss the plan I came up with.”

  
“Yeah, what is it?”

  
“I’d let Ben spend the night at my house everyday, but my parents would probably wonder why he’s always spending the night, right?” He nods, knowing where I’m getting at.

  
“So, you want me to let him spend the night at my place some days?” I nod.

  
“Pretty much. Is it okay with you?”

  
“If it keeps him safe, yeah. But only on Wednesdays and Fridays. Busy on other days.”

  
“Okay, thanks, Sam,” I smile at him. “But don’t tell anyone, I don’t think Ben wants anyone else to know.” He nods.

  
“Alright.”

  
“Oh, and guess what?” I ask, suddenly really happy after a very serious conversation.

  
“Yeah?” he replies with a smile.

  
“I saw Ben smile!” I sing. “I saw it, and it was so cute!”

  
He smiles wider. “See? I told you you’d see it!”

  
“Yeah. I don’t think he’s gonna let anyone else see it, but hey, at least  _I_  get to see it, right?” Sam laughs at me and nods. He follows me back to the classroom, where I see Ben standing awkwardly by Ms. King’s desk. I also notice him blushing.

  
Man, he’s always blushing at something.

  
We both sit back down at the table and wait for Ben to sit back down. I try to listen to their conversation, but they’re both talking so quietly. Ms. King stops their conversation when she sees us and smiles. Ms. King dismisses him and he comes back over to us. I smirk at him as he sits down next to me.

  
“What’cha blushing at?” I ask him.

  
“N-nothing,” he says as he covers his face. I giggle at his cuteness, and so does Sam.

  
“Sam said you can spend the nights on Wednesdays and Fridays, so you’ll go home with Sam tomorrow, okay?” I tell him.

  
“Really, Sam?” Ben looks up happily. Sam smiles wider and nods, obviously enjoying how happy he is.

  
“Yeah! I mean, we’re friends, right?” Sam says. Ben nods happily, and I see him trying to hold back a smile.

  
It made me feel jealous since I can’t make him smile that easily.

  
But at least I can see it whenever I want, so I really don’t have a reason to be jealous of him.


	17. Chapter 17

Since it’s Thursday, Ben comes home with me. I find him standing by his locker, but DJ was with him.

  
DJ was smirking and talking to Ben, who had his head hung low. Students around them were laughing.

  
I glare and hastily walk over to them, shoving people out of my way and ignoring the protests coming from my peers as I do.

  
Usually when I see bullying, I only tell the bully to fuck off and get a life. But no, this kid was bullying  _Ben_ , so this is gonna be different.

  
I grip DJ’s neck tightly and slam him against Ben’s locker, glaring as I watch DJ slide down to the floor. The crowd of students around us start cheering for a fight. Maybe about five percent of them were chanting DJ’s name, the rest mine. About half of the ones chanting my name apparently doesn’t know my name after almost a week. But they quickly changed  _’new kid’_  to my actual name, after hearing the others say it.

  
But I ignore them all. It’s just me and this fucking  _bitch_  on the floor.

  
DJ recovers before he gets back up with a glare of his own.

  
“You fucking bitch!” Dick Juice shouts at me, rubbing his neck which would most likely bruise later. He lunges forward and throws a punch, but I grab his arm, catching him by surprise before slamming his face into the locker again.

  
I glare down at him, waiting for him to get up. Being the fucking idiot he is, he gets back up. He wipes at his lip as if there was blood, but there wasn’t so it looked pretty fucking stupid. He leaps at me so quickly, though, he actually manages to get his fist to make contact with my jaw. The force makes me bite my tongue and slam into the locker myself.

  
“Hell yeah! I hit him!” DJ shouts, turning to face the kids behind him like a dumbass. “I hit him!” While he’s busy trying to boost his ego, I make sure to punch him in the head, hard. You guessed it, he fell right back to the floor. I couldn’t do anything else because someone grabbed my arm and dragged me away from the fight and outside.

  
When they finally stop dragging me, I twirl around to see who the hell it was.

  
Trenton.

  
I also saw that Sam, Ben, and that girl from the other day had followed.

  
“What got you guys fighting this time?” Trenton snaps at me, a bit annoyed by me fighting another one of his friends.

  
“The same fucking reason why I kicked his ass on Tuesday!” I snap at him. I feel kinda bad for snapping when he flinches. My remorse is gone after I realize he snapped at me first.

  
“Well, are you still coming to the party tomorrow?” he smiles now, clearly trying to calm me down now. It works, his happiness is just so contagious.

  
“Yeah, and Sam’s still bringing Ben, even though he really doesn’t want to go,” I smile as I motion towards Ben, who was talking to Sam.

  
“Oh, okay,” Trenton says before walking towards Sam.

  
“You guys still going?” Trenton asks Sam and the girl.

  
“Yeah, and I’m bringing the others, too!” Sam chirps as Ben awkwardly walks over to me, still crying.

  
“Let’s just go now,” he says as he starts walking up. I walk with him to my house in silence, deciding to talk with him when we got to the house.

  
That is, until Trenton comes running up again.

  
“So, do you remember where I live? For the party tomorrow?” he chirps, squeezing in between Ben and I.

  
“No, could you give it to me again?” I ask him. He laughs and nods.

  
“I’ll text it to you, because I don’t know how to pronounce the street! I don’t even know how to spell it, but I know when I see it!” I laugh at the absent-minded boy. He suddenly stops.

  
“Waldo’s picking me up here. See you tomorrow!” he chirps and waves.

  
“Bye, Trenton,” I chuckle as I walk away with Ben. We walk the rest of the way home in silence, this time without anyone running up to us.

  
We approach the door to the house. I unlock it and let Ben inside. He goes straight upstairs and into the bathroom.

  
I groan and walk into my room, where I wait for Ben to return. Then I remember that I forgot to announce my arrival. I walk back into the hallway, shout at the top of my lungs, “MOM AND DAD! WE’RE HOME!”

  
I hear Ben gasp from the bathroom. I walk to the door and knock on it.

  
“You alright?” I ask worriedly.

  
“Uh, yeah, I’m fine. Just...scared me, that’s all,” Ben answers me.

  
“Oh, sorry, mate,” I apologize before I turn and go back into my room. Shortly after, Ben staggers back into the room.

  
“Welcome back!” I say as I turn to him. “I need to ask you something,” I tell him, not as enthusiastic as I sounded a moment ago. He sits on the floor, so I sit next to him. The bed would’ve been nice to sit at, but I guess the floor works, too.

  
“Yeah?”

  
“What was DJ telling you earlier?” I ask him. He sighs and leans against me, I immediately wrap an arm around him.

  
“It’s nothing, I’m okay,” he tells me, but I won’t take that answer. I shake my head.

  
“That’s bullshit, Ben.”

  
“No, really. I’m fine.”

  
“Then why were you crying, Ben?”

  
No reply. Just a shake of his head.

  
“Was he calling you names?”

  
“Not only that. It’s okay, I’m fine now.” I sigh, knowing I’m not gonna get anything out of him. It’s just so fucking stressful. I wanna help him, but how can I help him if he doesn’t tell me what’s wrong? I can’t just kick DJ’s ass everyday, seeing that it’s not really working if DJ will only go mess with Ben again. If I keep it up, we might have to change schools again, and how will I be able to help Ben then?

  
“I can’t keep fighting with Dick Juice, Benny,” I tell him.

  
“Then don’t fight him, then. No one’s telling you to.”

  
“I need to let my anger out somehow.”

  
“Oh. Well, did you guys find my journal diary thing yet?” he asks, changing the subject.

  
“No, we weren’t looking for it,” I reply honestly. I feel him nod.

  
“Good.”


	18. Chapter 18

My alarm goes off abruptly, scaring the shit out of me which causes Ben to stir. I’ve been awake for a minute now, so I was already awake and staring at Ben as I waited for the alarm to go off.

 

“That thing’s so fucking obnoxious,” he says as he sits up and rubs the sleep from his eyes as I move to turn it off.

 

“Yeah. You excited about going to Sam’s house today?” I ask a bit sadly. I’d love for him to stay here instead, but I don’t want my parents getting too suspicious.

 

“I’m not really excited, but I’m sure I’ll have fun,” he answers and looks at me. “I wish I could stay here instead, though,” he tells me with a smile.

 

His smile is so fucking pretty… But it never quite reaches his eyes. His tired, yet beautiful eyes.

 

“Well, let’s get ready for school,” I say as I get out of bed and walk over to my closet. I pull out a random outfit and my boots and grab Ben’s shoes for him while I’m at it. I toss him his shoes and work on getting dressed.

 

“Oh, Ben! Sunday’s wash day! Do you want us to wash your hoodie? You’ve been wearing it for who knows how long!” I offer. He merely shakes his head.

 

“No, it’s fine,” he answers sweetly as I pull on my shirt. I’m now dressed for school, so I comb my fingers through my hair and go downstairs to the kitchen. I open up the snack cabinet and get a pack of skittles and stuff it into my pocket.

 

“Good morning, Daniel,” my dad’s sleepy voice yawns from the kitchen doorway.

 

“Morning, Dad,” I answer, rolling my eyes at the use of my actual name.

 

“Morning, Danny!” my mom get’s it right when she approaches too.

 

“Morning, Mom,” I say as I make my way back upstairs and into my room again. I see Ben awkwardly standing in the middle of my room, looking around.

 

“You got what you need for Sam’s house?” I ask him, gaining his attention.

 

“Yeah, I mean, it really isn’t anything much.” He’s right. He really doesn’t have a lot of clothes at all. I plan on buying him more clothes when I manage to get some money from my parents. I bet he’d love that.

 

“Okay, just making sure. You ready?” I ask him. He nods and grabs both of our bags and gives me mine. I nod and smile a thanks before he follows me out of the house.

 

<><><>

 

“I don’t wanna go to the party, Danny,” Ben whispers next to me. I sigh.

 

“Don’t worry, you’ll enjoy yourself!” I tell him again. He shakes his head.

 

“I don’t like parties,” he says sadly.

 

“Awh, Sam’ll be with you the whole time!” I try to comfort him. “Hey, and if I see you, I’ll hang with you too!”

 

“You promise?” he asks.

 

“Promise.”

 

We sit silently as we wait for Trenton to figure out the answer to a problem Ben and I got stuck on.

 

“Done!” Trenton finally chirps as he finishes the last problem.

 

“Sweet!” I cheer, leaning across the table to see his work. “What’s the answer?”

 

“It’s D!” he chirps again. I get back in my seat and fill in the answer for me and Ben.

 

“So, I’ll turn in the packets,” I say as I stand and collect all three of our packets and take them to Ms. King. She smiles when she sees me approach.

 

“You guys always finish early,” Ms. King giggles.

 

“Yeah, that’s because we got our work done instead of talking and fooling around,” I say as she takes the work out of our hands. She laughs a bit, making me smile wider.

 

“That’s pretty surprising, considering the fact you have little Trenton in that group! He’s always running his mouth!”

 

“Yeah, I’ve noticed,” I chuckle.

 

“Well, I think we’re disturbing the class. We can talk more at lunch if you’d like?” she asks sweetly. I look around the room a bit. People were staring at us. I look back to the young teacher and nod. I turn back around and walk back to Trenton and Ben. As I approach, I see Trenton slip him a note.

 

“What’s that?” I ask as I take my seat next to Ben.

 

“It’s a note, duh,” Ben says as he puts it in his pocket, saving it for later, knowing that I’d try to read it. I roll my eyes at his smart remarks.

 

“I know that,” I tell him before turning to Trenton, “but what does it say?”

 

“Oh, uh, one of my friends gave it to me to give it to him,” he tells me with a smile.

 

“Alright,” I say as I sit at my desk next to Ben.

 

I’m checking that note later if I get a chance.

 

<><><>

 

“Mom! Dad! I’m home!” I shout as I step in the house, closing and locking the door behind me. It was kinda weird walking in without Ben by my side, but it’s only gonna be this way two days of the week. I guess that’s both a good and a bad thing. I decide on taking a nap until it’s time for the party, since I’m already ready to go. I sigh and set my alarm before throwing myself in bed.

 

This place without Ben is boring as fuck.


	19. Chapter 19

I got lost a couple of times but managed to get to Trenton’s house without too much of a problem. The first thing I did was go look for Sam and Ben, which wasn’t too hard, since Sam and Ben and about five other people were just getting here too. I smile and jog up to them.

  
“Hey!” I chirp as I approach, gaining their attention. I recognized all of Sam’s friends, especially the one clinging on him. When Ben sees me, his face lightens up and he smiles.

  
“Danny!” he cheers and throws himself at me, squeezing me with a hug. I laugh and hug him back with just as much enthusiasm.

  
“ _Brusnop!_ ” I hear one of the girls giggle quietly. I totally forgot about the whole Brusnop thing, to be honest. Ben let’s go and looks down at his feet, but I can see a small blush color his cheeks cutely.

  
“I think I’m gonna introduce you to my friends now, Danny! I already introduced them to Ben,” Sam says. I nod approvingly and smile.

  
“That’s James, Cam, Logan, Ariel, and Raeven,” he points at each teen and they wave. I recognize Logan to be the girl I always see with Sam and Ben.

  
“James, it’s kinda chilly out. Shouldn’t you be wearing a shirt?” I ask, seeing that he’s topless.

  
Raeven giggles as she grabs James’s hand, who kisses the top of her head.

  
So Ariel is dating Cam, unless they’re both riding solo.

  
_Count on me to make a Jason Derulo reference. I don’t even like Jason Derulo..._

  
“Great, everyone knows each other!” Sam chirps happily. “Ben, aren’t they great?”

  
“Um…” I glance down at Ben, who was avoiding eye contact with Sam’s friends.

  
“Awe, don’t be so shy, Ben!” Ariel giggles at Ben’s awkwardness.

  
“Oh, Danny, Sam told us about Ben’s home life...” Logan tells me. Ben’s head snaps towards Sam’s direction when he hears the news, offering him a look of betrayal. I pull Ben in for a side hug to try to make him feel better. Sam gives Ben an apologetic look, and I give Ben one too, even though he can’t see. I really didn’t expect Sam to tell them since he fucking  _promised_ , but I’m quite sure he was trying to help.

  
“If you want to stay with us some nights, you can,” Raeven kindly offers.

  
I smile a thanks to her as we wait for Ben’s reply.

  
“Um...I’ll think about it,” Ben stutters. “Uh, Danny, I came to the party. Am I allowed to go home now?”

  
“But don’t you wanna be with me?” I ask with fake hurt, motioning towards myself with a pout.

  
“Yeah, but….” he doesn’t say anything much after that, only starts mumbling about how much he didn’t want to be at his party. I chuckle at him and his grumpiness.

  
“Well, let’s go in now. It’s kinda chilly out, like Danny said,” James says as he starts to pull Raeven into the house. Everyone pretty much follows them inside the house, and let me tell you, Trenton obviously has a bad taste in music.

  
<><><>

  
Ben went off to talk to Logan and Ariel, Sam went to talk to James and Cam, Trenton’s hanging out with DJ, leaving me leaning against a wall with Raeven. We were both quiet for a few minutes, until she finally decides to talk to me, breaking the awkward silence.

  
“So Ben’s your best friend?” she asks me before taking another sip of the drink Waldo had for the party. It tasted pretty bad, and I think the only ones who like it are Trenton, DJ, Waldo, and Waldo’s girlfriend. We’re all just drinking it to be nice, I guess.

  
“Yeah?” I ask, turning my head to the right to look at her.

  
She sniffs the liquid in the cup before gagging. “This smells as bad as it taste.”

  
“It does.”

  
She’s silent for a moment before speaking up again.

  
“You know people call him names, right?” she asks as she turns her head to look at me with sad eyes. I frown and nod sadly.

  
“Yeah, I’ve seen plenty of it,” I answer her.

  
“Don’t tell anyone this. I managed to get it out of Trenton.”

  
“I swear I won’t tell,” I tell her as I lean closer to hear what she’s got to say.

  
“You know Ben had a boyfriend in the tenth grade?” she asks me quietly so no one else could hear.

  
“Yeah, Ben told me yesterday,” I say.

  
“How much did he tell you?”

  
“He told me that he was flirty, he didn’t want anyone to know he was gay, people started to get suspicious of their relationship, he broke up with Ben and got a girlfriend, told everyone Ben was gay, and he told the school all his secrets,” I tell her, then quickly add when I remember, “and he laughed when his friend made fun of Ben’s appearance, making Ben think his smile was ugly.”

  
“That sounds about right.”

  
“Did you get anything else about Ben from Trenton? Like, the secrets his ex told everyone?”

  
She shakes her head. “No, that part never got to me. Sorry.”

  
“Boo. Do you at least know who it was?”

  
She nods.

  
“Yes, tell me who’s getting their ass kicked?” I ask again.

  
“You’re gonna  _love_  this,” she tells me.

  
“Okay, let me hear it then.”

  
“David Jr. Reed.”

  
 _Reed._  I fucking heard that name! Heard it Tuesday or Wednesday or something...

  
“I heard the last name, but I can’t quite-” I mumble to myself until she cuts me off.

  
“He’s DJ, the guy you always like to fight.”

  
“ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!” I scream accidentally in her face, but she didn’t even flinch. It drew a lot of attention to us too, people offering us concerned looks all around. I didn’t fucking care though, I was too fucking livid to care.

  
“Danny, I think DJ still likes him,” Raeven whispers, noticing all the attention too. “I thought you should know.”

  
“DJ’s not allowed to have him! He’s  _mine_!”

  
Raeven looks surprised by my outburst, and honestly, it shocks me too.

  
I basically just told the whole room I was gay.

  
We’re all quiet for a moment, before Raeven seems to remember something. She tells everyone to fuck off, which surprisingly, they do.

  
Just like in the fucking stupid-ass movies. How fucking cheesy and irritating.

  
“I just remembered something else you should really know,” she tells me seriously.

  
“Tell me, then.”

  
“Have you noticed his eating habits?” she asks me. I frown again, remembering a few of them.

  
“Well, on Monday, I offered him half of my granola bar. He tried to say no, but I convinced him to eat it. And whenever I ask him if he wants to eat dinner when he comes over, he tells me he’s not hungry and says that he’s full.”

  
“I think he might be anorexic, Danny. You told me he ate the granola bar on Monday. Trenton told me he saw him pick it apart and toss it on the floor when he thought no one was looking.”

  
Well, fuck. I can’t believe I was too stupid to see this. I mean,  _fuck me_. I’m the fucking worst friend ever…

  
“Thanks for telling me,” I sigh.

  
“It’s no problem.”

  
<><><>

  
Me, Ben, Logan and Sam were chilling at Sam’s house, since Trenton’s party was unbearably boring and the others had went home. I don’t think he even noticed us leave, but I have an excuse made up in case he did. I’d tell him that Ben got really sick so we took him home to take care of him.  _Oh, Danny, but does it really take seven people to take Ben home and take care of him?_  No, but I’m their ride home.

  
Sounds good?

  
Ben ended up comfortable enough with his new friends to spend the night over at their houses, so instead of me getting to have him over five days a week, I can only have him over one day a week. I really hate only having him for one day instead, but at least I get him on Saturdays, right? He’s staying here at Sam’s tonight. I believe he goes to Logan’s every Thursday.

  
Just thought I should get that out there. Could be nice to know.

  
Sam’s parents saw us come in a while ago, and I guess they made cookies for us since they just called us down for some. I accepted the offer, because hey, they’re cookies! Ben said he didn’t want any, so me, Logan, and Sam went down to get some. Of course, I grabbed two. One for me, one for Ben. We went back upstairs, Logan and Sam eating their cookies on the way up.

  
When we got back in the room, I sat on the floor next to Ben and held out one of the cookies to him.

  
“No, I don’t want it,” Ben says again. I keep it held out for him anyways.  _Ben, stop being so fucking stubborn and eat the damn thing_ , I lecture him in my mind, even though he can’t fucking hear it at all. I give him a look that says the same thing though.

  
“SAM! LOGAN! SOMEONE’S AT THE DOOR TO SEE YOU TWO!” Sam’s mom screams at the top of her lungs, scaring the shit out of all four of us.

  
“God, I fucking hate it when she does that shit,” Sam groans as the couple get up and leave the room. I make sure they’re out of earshot before I speak.

  
“Ben, you’re eating this,” I tell him.

  
“Why do you want me to eat it so much?”

  
“Because you need to eat!” I answer, shoving the cookie towards his mouth. He only backs away.

  
“I do eat!” he tries to defend himself.

  
“When and what was the last thing you ate? Don’t lie to me, I’ll know if you’re lying.”

  
No fucking reply.

  
“Hmm?” I urge him to answer my question. He sighs, defeated.

  
“I’m sorry.”

  
“If you’re sorry then eat the cookie.”

  
“I’m not eating it, so stop.” I glare at Ben a little bit.

  
“If you don’t eat yours then I won’t eat mine.”

  
Ben doesn’t do anything else, just keeps his head down, hiding his face. I’m fucking serious, if he’s not gonna eat, then I’m not either. But that may be easier said than done. I remember one time when I was a young kid, I found out that there was starving children all around the world. I wondered what it was like, and decided to go a whole day without food.

  
I didn’t even make it five hours without getting food.

  
“Hey, Benny?” I mumble after a silence.

  
“Yeah, Danny?” he replies, keeping his head hung low.

  
“Why don’t you wanna eat? I won’t tell anyone, I promise,” I say gently, wrapping my arm around Ben’s shoulders. He’s quiet for a few seconds, but eventually sighs.

  
“I’m fat, Danny.” I shake my head sadly.

  
“No, Benji. You’re not fat at all,” I tell him.

  
Ben sighs, leaning on me a bit, and I take it that he disagrees with me.

  
“But Ben, you’re so fucking tiny! And you barely weigh anything!”

  
“I don’t wanna talk about this. Eat your cookie and be happy, please.”

  
“No, Ben. I told you. I’m not gonna fucking eat shit unless you eat,” I snap a little, making him flinch, but I can’t bring me self to care this time. He’s being so fucking stubborn, it’s getting on my damn nerves.

  
I hear him quietly sigh as he takes a cookie from me.

  
“Don’t break pieces off and toss it onto the floor like you did with the granola bar,” I tell him.

  
“What are you talking about?” he asks as he finally looks up to look at me.

  
“Nevermind, just eat the cookie,” I tell him. He rolls his eyes and hesitantly takes a small bite from the cookie.

  
“How’s that?” he asks when he finishes the bite. I shake my head.

  
“ _More_ ,” I tell him, much to his dismay. He takes a slightly bigger bite than the first one. He chews it and swallows.

  
“Now?” he groans.

  
“Better, but eat at least half of it,” I say. He eats more, until most of it is gone.

  
“Three quarters. Now can I stop?” He’s acting like eating one cookie is fucking killing him.  _One fucking cookie._

  
“Good boy. But now the whole thing is almost gone. Just eat the rest of it.”

  
“You fucking dick,” he snaps at me, making me flinch a little.

  
This is new. He’s never talked to me like this before. I don’t think he’s ever called me a name before, either, unless I’m really forgetful and forgot already.

  
“I’m only making you do this because I care about you, Benji,” I whisper as he swallows the last bite.

  
“You promised you’d eat if I ate. You’re actually skinny, you need food,” Ben mutters quietly, motioning to the cookie I forgot I was even holding.

  
“Ben, you’re way fucking skinnier than me,” I try to convince him again.

  
He ignores me this time. I sigh and shove the whole cookie in my mouth. I sigh. How am I gonna make him see how skinny he really is? Why the fuck does he think he’s fat?


	20. Chapter 20

I ended up going home since I promised Mom and Dad I’d be home before...midnight, I think it was? It doesn’t matter, I’m home and they don’t even know, since they’ve already went to bed. It’s funny because I could be piss drunk at the party and they wouldn’t know because they’re asleep.

  
I’ve been a little paranoid on my way home. I once had an anorexic friend, and I found out that after someone made her eat, she would lock herself in the bathroom and throw up everything she ate. What if Ben was bulimic too?

  
As I throw myself onto the couch, I pull my phone out of my pocket. I had a text message from Trenton.

  
**Trenton: y did u guys leave?**

  
Well, fuck.

  
**me: Ben wasn’t feeling well so I brought him home to take care of him.  
**

****  
Trenton: oh :(  


 ****  
me: Sorry mate :/  


 ****  
Trenton: its no worries :) bye gonna txt DJ now  


 ****  
me: ew, DJ. bye  


**  
Trenton: awe that wasnt necessary!!!**

  
I don’t reply to him, I pull up a text message to Ben.

  
**me: Hey Benjiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Are you still pissed at me? :(**

  
Almost immediately, I get a reply, making me smile wide.

  
**My Benji <3: No**

  
me: If you’re fat, then I’m fat too. Ok?

  
My Benji <3: No. Not ok.

  
me: Fine, keep being stubborn. I just won’t eat either. But I have a question.

  
My Benji <3: What’s your question?

  
me: Are you bulimic? Please don’t lie to me :(((

  
My Benji <3: No, I promise I’m not. Why?

  
I sigh, relieved.

  
**me: I needed to know. I was paranoid.  
**

****  
My Benji <3: Why?  


 ****  
me: Because I care too much about you to see you hurt <3  


**  
My Benji <3: That’s sweet c:**

  
“Ah, so you’re home!” my mom’s voice scares the shit out of me. I look up from my phone and see her walking towards me. “What’cha doing?”

  
“Texting Ben,” I answer as I scroll up a bit so the messages are out of view. She glances at the screen, being the nosy bitch she is.

  
“Oh, okay. Did you eat anything at the party?” she asks as she heads to the stairs again.

  
“Yeah, but thanks though,” I tell her.

  
“You’re welcome, honey. I’m going back to bed!” With that, she goes back upstairs, leaving me alone downstairs. She even turned the light off.

  
“Um...goodnight, even though you...left me in the dark…”

  
Nope, she didn’t turn the light back on. I was hoping she would…

  
I look back to my phone and tap on the message box, sending me down to the bottom text.

  
**me: I’m going to bed now. You staying at Sam’s tomorrow or are you coming over?  
**

**  
My Benji <3: I wanna be with you tomorrow.**

  
I smile and blush when I get his reply. I quickly tap a message and send it.

  
**me: What time do you guys want me to get you?  
**

****  
My Benji <3: I remember where you live, I’ll just go to you.  


 ****  
me: You sure?  


 ****  
My Benji <3: Positive. Go to bed now ^-^  


 ****  
me: Kk, night buddy  


**  
My Benji <3: Night!**

  
Since I’m too lazy to get up and go upstairs to my room, I decide to crash on the couch for the night. I turn my phone off and toss it on the floor and watch it the best I could in the dark as it slides to the middle of the room. Great, what if I want it in the middle of the night? I’ll have to get up and get it myself. Nah, I like sleep better. I roll my eyes at myself as I drift off into Benworld again, because Benworld is awesome like that.

  
<><><>

  
I wake up when something is dropped on me. I groan and push the object off of me, sending it to the floor with a soft thump.

  
“Stop putting stuff on me,” I groan as I bury my face into the cushion of the couch.

  
“That hurt, Danny.”

  
I jump up when I realize who the voice belonged to.

  
“I’m sorry, Ben! I didn’t know it was you!” I cry as I pull him off the floor and into a hug.

  
“It’s okay, I’m not mad at you,” he assures me. “But you’re gonna be mad at me.”

  
I give him a serious look, even though he can’t see it.

  
“What did you do, Ben?” I ask sternly.

  
“I...kinda, um...went to my house,” he trails off.

  
God fucking damn it.

  
“Fuck, did they hurt you?” I ask, pulling him closer to me. He shrugs.

  
“They pulled my hair and scratched me a bit when I tried to escape, which I did, obviously. I’m fine, don’t worry, Danny.”

  
“Why’d you go back?” I ask him. He shrugs again awkwardly.

  
“You left my guitar at home,” he answers me, “I went to go get it.”

  
“Ben, if you wanted your guitar, you should’ve at least told me.”

  
“Sorry, Danny. I knew you’d be asleep at that time and I know you love your sleep, so I just went alone.”

  
“But Ben! You’re a thousand times more important than sleeping! What if something happened to you? I’d go crazy!”

  
“I’m sorry, Danny,” he mutters quietly with a sigh. “But I’m okay, isn’t that good?”

  
I smile at him.

  
“Yeah, buddy. But promise me you won’t ever go back there.”

  
“I promise, Danny.”


	21. Chapter 21

Ben’s phone buzzes for the umpteenth time today, causing him to scowl miserably at it as he unlocks his screen. Everytime I ask him about it, he just waves me off and tells me that it’s nothing serious and that I shouldn’t worry about it.

 

I start to worry about it anyways when he suddenly locks his phone and puts it on the floor before getting up and leaving the room, going across the hall and locks himself in the bathroom. I frown as I watch him go before averting my attention to the phone sitting on the floor next to me. I grab his phone and turn it on, groaning when it asks me to enter the passcode. I’ve watched him type in his passcode a few times, but I can’t fucking remember it all of a sudden. I know that it started with a six… and I recall a couple twos, and a one.

  
I try a few combinations, until I tap in  _6-2-1-2_  and get in. I start to smirk at my victory, but it falters when it brings me to the messaging app. Apparently, he was fucking texting DJ of all people. I start reading their messages from today so I can see what was bothering Ben so much.

  
**DJ: heyy bby  
**

  
**Ben: Don’t talk to me.**

**  
DJ: but u kno i miss u bby**

  
I raise an eyebrow at that, already feeling rage (and maybe even jealousy) starting to slowly consume me.

  
**Ben: Idc. Don’t talk to me.  
**

  
**DJ: awe y so stubborn? ;)**

  
**Ben: Leave me alone or I’ll tell Danny.**

  
**DJ: danny doesnt want u lol**

  
**Ben: Omg just stop fucking texting me please.**

  
**DJ: y do u even want him when u can have me?**

**  
Ben: Because he’s a thousand times better than you’ll ever be.**

  
_Wait, so… Is he saying he likes me?_

  
“Holy fuck, Danny!” Ben screams, scaring the shit out of me. Ben runs over and snatches the phone from me before I could finish reading the rest of their conversation.

  
“Hey, Benny!” I say, trying to make this less awkward, but to no avail.

  
“Why were you reading my texts?!”

  
“They were bothering you and you wouldn’t tell me what was wrong so I got worried,” I answer him sheepishly.

  
“Fuck, Danny, how much did you read? I swear I locked my phone,” he mutters quietly as he scrolls through the messages, his face turning a shade of red from embarrassment.

  
“Uh… To where you said you liked me...”

  
“ _Oh._ ”

  
“Yeah… Do you really like me, or were you just trying to make DJ leave you alone?”

  
“I  _do_  like you, Danny,” he admits, risking a glance at me. I offer a reassuring smile,

  
“The feelings are mutual, Benji,” I finally admit after all this time.

  
“Y-you do?” he asks me hopefully, searching my eyes with his own wide ones. I can’t help but chuckle at the fragile boy sitting next to me.

  
Of course I do, Benji. You’re so cute.”

  
He then smiles one of the widest, brightest smiles I’ve ever seen, and he doesn’t even attempt to hide it from me this time.

  
And this is the day we shared our first kiss.


	22. Chapter 22

>>>time skip to two weeks later<<<

  
I drag Ben over to the table we’ve been sitting at for almost two or so weeks. We stopped sitting at Trenton’s table to sit at Sam’s table with his friends. Trenton sits with us occasionally, though, so it’s cool. When Ben and I sit with Cam and Ariel, they smile at us.

  
“Hey, Brusnop! What’s up?” Cam greets us, and I roll my eyes at our nickname. It got annoying after a while, but they still call us that anyway.

  
“We both have names, y’know,” I reply as Ben just simply waves his greeting.

  
“Yeah, but they’re boring,” Ariel says. I dramatically gasp, placing a hand over my heart.

  
“Awe, you’re mean, my feelings are hurt,” I fake hurt, but she only laughs. “But anyways, where’s everyone else?”

  
They both simultaneously shrug.

  
“I don’t know, I think they’re hanging around at the library or something,” Cam tells us.

  
“And they didn’t invite us?”

  
“True! You guys should come over to my house after school and they won’t be invited since we’re not invited to the library,” Ariel plots, but Cam shakes his head.

  
“Can’t, I’m busy today.”

  
“Doing what?”

  
“I’m helping my mom at work, remember?”

  
“Oh. You coming, Danny?”

  
“Of course, man!”

  
<><><>

  
I walk away from my locker and head to Ben’s locker so we could walk to Ariel’s house together. As I approach Ben’s locker, I see Dick Juice whispering in Ben’s ear, making him extremely uncomfortable. I glare and march over to them. I have no time for bullshit, so I merely slam DJ’s head against the locker, grab Ben’s wrist, and drag him out of the school without a word until we make it to the curb, where we will wait for Ariel.

 

  
“What was he telling you?” I ask Ben, who only shifted his gaze to the ground.

  
“I don’t wanna talk about it, Danny,” he whispers in a tone that suggests he’s ashamed.

  
Fucking  _ashamed._

  
“Benji, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong,” I speak gently, pleadingly. He shakes his head and hastily buries his head in my shoulder. I sigh as I pull him into a comforting embrace.

  
“Is everything alright?” Ariel asks as she finally arrives, motioning towards Ben.

  
“I don’t know,” is all I can say. “Ben won’t tell me what’s going on.”

  
She steps closer to him, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Do you think someone said something to him again?”

  
“I saw DJ whispering something to him.”

  
“Is that why you’re upset?” Ariel asks, tone as gentle as the circles she’s now rubbing onto Ben’s back. Ben sighs and pulls away from the two of us completely.

  
“It’s nothing, just forget about it,” Ben says quietly as he starts leading us to Ariel’s house. Ariel and I exchange worried looks before following after him without another word.


	23. Chapter 23

“Welcome to my home!” Ariel cheers as she pushes the door open to the empty house, guiding us inside so she can close and lock the door again. “Shoes off, though.”

  
The three of us kick our shoes off before following Ariel upstairs. Ben and I get comfy on her bed as she turns toward her television, turning it on before walking over to us, grabbing an Xbox controller on the way.  
  


“Netflix and chill?” she asks, sitting on the bed between Ben and I. I whine and pout my lip, Ben following suit.  
  


“Awe, I wanna sit next to bae!” I whine at her, to which she giggles at and rolls her eyes.  
  


“Y’all won’t pay attention to the show if you guys sit together and you know it,” she says as she goes to the Netflix app. “What do you guys wanna watch?”  
  


“Nothing.”  
  


“Don’t be like that, Ben.”  
  


“Let’s watch Spooksville!” I chirp, earning a groan from both friends to my right.  
  


“I fucking hate Spooksville!” Ben whines, Ariel nodding to agree with Ben.  
  


“You guys suck,” I retort playfully, crossing my arms and slumping in my spot.  
  


“And so does Spooksville,” Ben teases back.  
  


“True. So what are we watching?” Ariel asks once again.  
  


“I heard Skins was good,” Ben suggests. “Kinda triggering and a bit of nudity and shit in it, but still good.”  
  


“Yeah, I heard it was good, too,” I add. And with that, Ariel puts it in the search bar, playing the first episode when she gets to it.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the letter 'h' key isn't cooperating tonight so sorry if there's any stupid typos ;-;

After hanging out with Ariel and Ben for a few hours, I decide that I should head home. As soon as I get there, I throw myself onto my bed and try to get comfy, ready to get some sleep.

  
But as soon as I do, my mom has to call me out of bed.

  
“Danny! Help us get the groceries out of the car!” my mom calls when I hear the front door open. I roll my eyes and let out a groan as I get up and jog back downstairs downstairs. I walk outside to where my dad is grabbing multiple bags from the car. He hands me a few when he sees me approaching.

  
“Sorry we were gone so long. Did you eat anything?” he asks as he smiles at me. I nod.

  
“Okay, that’s good. Your mom's thinking about making cookies, by the way,” he cheers as he closes the trunk, bringing the bags hanging from his arms into the house. I follow him inside and drop the bags on the kitchen floor, earning a disapproving look from my mom.

  
“I have homework, so I’ll go do that now,” I lie, trying to come up with an excuse not to help put away the groceries. When they don’t say anything, I walk out of the kitchen and back upstairs to my room. I lock the door incase they walk in on me not doing homework like I said I was.

  
I get comfortable on my bed again, just as my phone makes itself known.

  
Jesus fucking Christ, can I fucking take a nap??

  
I grab my phone and find a text from my boyfriend.

  
**My Benji <3: Wyd :)  
**

  
**me: I was trying to sleep ;-;**

  
**My Benji <3: Not anymore!**

  
**me: Awe that's rude**

  
**My Benji <3: But I'm lonely because Cam came over after all and now I'm the third wheel.**

  
**me: Smh she's a fucking hypocrite xD**

  
**My Benji <3: What do you mean?**

  
**me: OH OH WHEN YOU NOD YOUR HEAD YES BUT YOU WANNA SAY NO**

  
**My Benji <3: No. Never again.**

  
**me: I'm sorry xD You're so cute <3**

  
**My Benji <3: Nooo ;-;**

  
**me: Yeeees you are ;)**

  
**My Benji <3: I'm not cute ;-;**

  
**me: Awee I bet you're blusing ^^**

  
**My Benji <3: No I'm not ;-;**

  
**me: You always blush! You're my smol precious bagel and I love you <3**

**  
My Benji <3: I love you too. **

  
“Who ya talkin to?” my mom asks suddenly and out of nowhere, causing me to jump. She laughs like the sadistic shit she is, but I still love her. I'm about to smile at her and make some sort of comment that could  _possibly_  end with me getting backhanded, but then she leans closer and looks at the screen.

  
“Who’s  _’your Benji’_?” she asks.

  
“Uh... My significant other,” I answer her question without having to lie about it, so we all win here. But, she pushes for more information.

  
“Benji’s an odd name,” she states unnecessarily. My heart rate starts to speed up a little as I internally beg myself to hurry up and come up with a fucking lie without seeming suspicious.

  
“Well, her last name is Benjamin, and sometimes I call her Benji because of it,” I lie, feeling bad for it afterwards, but hoping she believes my pathetic lie at the same time. The smile that brightens her face implies that she did fall for it.

  
“Well, that’s great, honey! When can I meet her?”

  
And the struggle returns.

  
“She, uh, she's horribly shy and doesn't like meeting new people.”

  
“Oh, alright then. Want any cookies?” she asks, waving one of the cookies she just baked in front of my face. I honestly didn't notice it there before.

  
“Uh, no thanks. I'm gonna try to get some sleep now.”

  
“That's fine! They'll be in the microwave in case you change your mind.”

  
“Sounds great!”

  
She quickly kisses my forehead before walking out of the room and telling me goodnight, turning the light out for me as she goes. I quickly turn back to my phone and tap in a quick reply as soon as the door closes.

  
**me: My mom came in and started reading my messages.  
**

  
**My Benji <3: Omg didn't you say she was homophobic though??**

  
**me: Nah, I said that I didn't know if she was or not. But I told her that I had a girlfriend and her last name is Benjamin, so I call her Benji because of it.**

  
**My Benji <3: Awe c: Ariel's mom came in and told us to go to bed.**

  
**me: Oh, then sleep well beb. Love you <3**

**  
My Benji <3: Love you more.**

  
I turn my phone off and just toss it on the floor before crawling under the blankets, falling asleep moments later.


	25. Chapter 25

I somehow manage to get to Ms. King’s class late and surprisingly, she didn’t send me to get a detention slip from the dean of boys and allowed me to just casually go to my seat and sit down. Ben and I both have to hold in laughs when DJ enters the room a bit later that myself, only to be sent out of the room and to the dean of boys.

  
Now that I think of it, me, Ben, and Trenton never really get in trouble in this class for doing things other people get in trouble for doing. The most she does is telling us to quiet down whenever she hears us talking, but she allows us to pass notes (she lets everyone do that, I’m sure).

  
But, none of us seem to have paper today.

  
<><><>

  
I’m dying during the last class of the day while Mrs. Brown lectures the class about who the fuck knows what when my phone buzzes in my bag. I quickly check to be sure the teacher won’t see me before grabbing my phone and reading the message.

  
**Sam: Me and Logan are harassing people at Walmart on Friday! Wanna bring Ben? :p**

  
I turn in my seat, making eye contact with a smiling Sam who sat in the back corner. He waves at me as I raise an eyebrow at him before turning back to my phone so I can reply to him.

  
**me: Sure, why the fuck not? What about the others?  
**

  
**Sam: They wanted to go to other places like McDonalds or something, which isn’t as cool as going to Walmart**

  
**me: Tf can you do at McDonalds??**

  
**Sam: Exactly!! Logan wanted to go to McDonalds but I convinced her to come to Walmart with me**

  
**Sam: So yeah, ask Ben if he wants in**

**  
me: Alright, I’ll text him even though you could’ve done that yourself, ya lazy shit**

  
And with that, I pull up my boyfriend’s contact.

  
**me: Hey Benji, wanna go to Walmart this Friday with me and Sam and Logan? We’re harassing people  
**

  
**My Benji <3: My ringer is on and we’re both so lucky that Mrs. Whitehouse isn’t in the room right now.**

  
**me: Why am I lucky?**

  
**My Benji <3: I would’ve kicked your ass if I got my phone taken away**

  
**me: You can’t fight**

**  
My Benji <3: Shhh, hush, child.**

  
“Daniel Robert Worsnop, are you texting in my class?” Mrs. Brown yells from the other side of the class. This bitch is always trying to call someone out in front of the class and everyone’s fucking sick of it.

  
“Me? Texting? I was just smiling at my crotch because I appreciate it's existence,” I retort, my tone laced with sarcasm and attitude, making a few people around me laugh. Mrs. Brown does nothing but stand there like an idiot, glaring coldly at me. I expect her to march her saggy-titty ass over here and snatch my phone away, but surprisingly, she turns back to the board and angrily continues the lesson.  _Well, alright then…_

  
**Sam: I’m weak xD  
**

**  
me: I bet you are xD**

  
Then I go back to mine and Ben’s conversation.

  
**me: I kinda just pissed Mrs. Brown off :’D  
**

  
**My Benji <3: Tf did you do?**

  
**me: She caught me texting and called me out in front of the class so I got an attitude with her**

  
**My Benji <3: Omg what did you say?**

  
**me: I told her that I was smiling at my crotch because I appreciated its existence**

  
**My Benji <3: Me too**

  
**me: You’re dirty**

  
**My Benji <3: I DIDNT MEAN IT THAT WAY**

  
**me: HOW ELSE COULD YOU HAVE MEANT IT**

  
**My Benji <3: IDK**

  
**me: THATS BECAUSE YOURE LYING**

  
**me: I BET YOURE BLUSHING YOURE SO CUTE YOU DIRTY LITTLE BOY**

  
**My Benji <3: OOPS THE TEACHERS COMING TO TAKE MY PHONE LOVE YOU**

**  
me: LOVE YOU TOO**

  
And that’s how I got my boyfriend in trouble. Poor kid.


	26. Chapter 26

A few minutes before the final bell rings, I get a text from Logan telling me that she can't have anyone over until after six so Ben can't go home with her today and that she told him to come home with me today but he can go over later if he wants.

  
As I walk up to Ben's locker, I catch DJ trying to approach Ben, but he quickly turns around and walks the other way when he sees me. I snicker at that. Fucking punk ass bitch is scared of me.

  
Ben's leaning against his locker and doing something on his phone when I approach him. I assume that he snatched it off the teacher's desk before leaving, then. I sneak up behind the unexpecting teen and look over his shoulder to see that he's texting James. I lean closer to read the conversation, but Ben notices me and quickly locks the screen before turning to me.

  
"Awe, why can't I know what you guys are talking about?" I whine. He rolls is eyes at me, which I chuckle at.

  
"I don't like it when people read over my shoulder," he states, shoving his phone in his back pocket.

  
"Okay, sorry. What were you guys talking about?"

  
He shakes his head. "Don't worry about it. Logan says that you're taking me to your house for a few hours?"

  
He sigh defeatedly before nodding. He smiles at me and grabs my hand, guiding me to my own house.

  
<>

  
We eventually step onto the porch, still hand in hand, and I dig through my pocket for the house key. I pull it out and just as I’m about to stick it in the keyhole, the door opens from the other side to reveal my surprised father. And, of course, his gaze goes straight down to our interlocked fingers before our eyes meet.

  
How the fuck is he gonna react?

  
Just literally fuck my life…

  
“Good afternoon, boys,” is all he says though, and I let out the breath I didn’t even know I had sucked in. I can only assume that he either didn’t pay our hand holding any mind or doesn’t really care.

  
“Morning, Dad,” I say, Ben nodding his response shyly. Then he steps past us, and we enter the house.

  
“So your dad’s probably okay with this?” Ben says, I shrug.

  
“Not necessarily. Like, maybe he just didn’t really put the pieces together or something.”

  
“True, but still,” Ben shrugs himself. “Maybe you could tell him? Your dad seems cool.”

  
“Never judge a book by its cover, Benji,” I smile at him playfully, petting his hair with my free hand. Ben giggles and steps out of my reach.

  
“Why are you petting me? I’m not a dog,” Ben laughs, sitting on the couch, kicking his shoes off and leaving them by his feet. I plop down next to him, not bothering my shoes as I pull Ben into a cuddle.

  
“You’re cuddly and affectionate like a dog,” I tell him just as he fits his head into the crook of my neck.

  
“One of my ex’s had a dog but she was a mean little bitch,” Ben states. I can’t help but laugh at him.


	27. Chapter 27

It's a bit after six now, and I'm approaching my house after dropping Ben off at Sam's house.  
  
"I'm back!" I shout as I step into the house. I head straight upstairs to my room and lock the door behind me because I'm about to text James about earlier and I don't need Mom sneaking up on me and reading those messages.  
  
I pull my phone out and sit on my knees before pulling up James's contact. I tap in my message and then tap send.  
  
 **me: Hey, James. I gotta ask you something.**  
  
It's not too long before I get a reply from him.  
  
 **Drooms: Hey, what ya need?  
  
me: Ben was texting you earlier but he told me he didn't want me to worry about it when I asked what you guys were talking about and we all know I'm gonna worry about it so yeah.  
  
Drooms: Truee But yeah I guess I should tell you since you're his boyfriend.  
  
Drooms: I'll text it to you later, I gotta go do chores.  
  
me: Alright, mate. Thanks.**  
  
I lock my screen with a sigh. Damn, man, I'm so fucking curious and worried now. Wish I could've texted later or something because I'll just sit and wait anxiously as I wait for his reply that'll come who knows when. I mean, who knows how long it'll take him to do his chores? I don’t even know what his chores are, so I can’t really take a guess, either.  
  
I get up off the floor and go downstairs into the living room, where my dad was just sitting on the couch, looking bored out of his fucking mind. I guess I could talk to him for a bit. I sit on the couch next to him, gaining his attention.  
  
“Hey, Daniel. How’s your girlfriend?” he greets me with a small smile.  
  
“Uh... She’s doing okay,” I tell him with a fake smile. I hate having to lie to my own father, and I hate the idea of having a girlfriend, too.  
  
“That’s good.”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
Then we both sit in silence (our car radio is fine, thank you very much) for a while, just watching whatever was on tv. Maybe a couple hours, if I were to guess.  
  
But then my phone receives a text, shocking me out of my bored trance and pumping adrenaline through me. I pull it out eagerly, knowing that it’s either James or Ben.  
  
 **My Benji <3: Logan and I escaped from her parents!**  
  
I smile as I tap in my message and send it.  
  
 **me: Haha congratulations  
  
My Benji <3: Thanks. They dragged us in for karaoke. It was horrible :(  
  
me: I'm sorry. At least it’s only once a week, right?  
  
My Benji <3: Yeah.  
  
My Benji <3: DJ won’t stop texting me. Logan told him to stop but he only asked what could she do about it.**  
  
God, I'm so fucking sick of Dick Juice and his bullshit. I’ll try to remember to kick his ass real nice tomorrow.  
  
 **me: Did you tell him that I’m gonna kick his ass again for the millionth time since I’ve been in school if he won’t stop?  
  
My Benji <3: No.  
  
me: Do it. I’m serious.**  
  
A few minutes later, maybe ten or so, he texts back.  
  
 **My Benji <3: I forwarded it to him. He stopped :) Thanks Danny!**  
  
I smile and chuckle.  
  
“Ah, he’s probably texting that Benji girl!” I hear my mom chirp. I roll my eyes at her, hoping my neither of my parents saw. They’d get pissed off and accuse me of having an attitude  
  
“It’s possible, but it could be one of his other friends.”  
  
Yes. We'll go with that.  
  
 **me: Anything for you :^)  
  
My Benji <3: Shit, I gotta go back downstairs for kareoke :(  
  
me: Awe, I’m sorry :( It’s just for tonight, you’ll be out of that house tomorrow  
  
My Benji <3: HI DANNY IT’S LOGAN I’M GIVING THE PHONE BACK TO BEN NOW HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA.**  
  
I snicker a bit and roll my eyes at that idiot. Of course she’d do something like that. It's never a surprise anymore.  
  
And a few seconds later, I finally get a text from James.  
  
 **Drooms: Hey, sorry I took forever with chores. That’s what happens when you don’t do them all week!  
  
me: Yeah haha :P So, what were you and Ben talking about earlier?  
  
Drooms: Just tell him to take off his hoodie on Saturday or something.**  
  
I raise an eyebrow at his response. I tap my next message on the way to my room.  
  
 **me: Why?**  
  
Drooms: You’ll find out when you do. Bye now, I’m going to bed. Night, dude.  
  
me: Okay, night.  
  
I sigh and turn my light of and kick my shoes off before going over to the bed. The sooner I sleep, the sooner I’ll get to see Ben, right?  
  
I get under the blankets and close my eyes.


	28. Chapter 28

I close the door behind me the next morning, hoping my mom or dad will lock it for me. I smile as I spot Logan, Sam, and Ben already walking to school, so I decide to try to catch up, which I luckily do.  
  
“It’s good to see you survived Logan’s house again!” I chuckle as I walk next to Ben, accidentally making him flinch at my sudden voice. He laughs it off and throws his arms around me, so it's my turn to be caught off gaurd.  
  
“I missed you, Danny! We barely got to text each other yesterday,” he sighs as I hug him back.  
  
“ _Brusnop_ ,” Logan whispers so quietly and quickly, I almost didn’t hear it.  
  
“You guys still wanna go to Walmart with me?” Sam speaks up.  
  
“I do!” Logan chirps excitedly. They're too excited to be talking about Walmart early in the morning. The wonders of Walmart, I guess.  
  
Ben lets go of me as we start walking again.  
  
“Are you going, Danny?” he asks me, eyes staring into mine pleadingly. I smile down at him and grab his hand.  
  
“Yeah, I’ll go.”  
  
Ben smiles. “Then I’ll go, too."  
  
<><><>  
  
Ben and I take our seats as soon as we enter the classroom. Trenton's seat is empty, so it's just the two of us right now. Such knowledge reminds me of last night's conversation with James, and I glance to Ben nervously.  
  
Ben was very hesitant to let me see his conversation with James and wouldn't even talk about it with me. Then James tells me to get Ben to take his hoodie off. I'm pretty sure I know what's wrong with this picture... I just don't want to believe it...  
  
“Danny, are you okay?” Ben asks me quietly, breaking me from my trance. I focus my gaze on his concerned eyes, and I shrug.  
  
“No, please tell me what’s wrong?”  
  
“Fine. Your hoodie's coming off later.”  
  
I catch his eyes widening a bit before he turns away from me completely, and I can't help but wonder if I said too much. Probably did, huh?  
  
“Why?” he asks me quietly.  
  
“Because I love you and I want to make sure you're okay.”  
  
“James told on me?”  
  
He sounds betrayed.  
  
“Ben, I asked him what you two were talking about yesterday because I was concerned, and he told me to tell you to take off you hoodie. He told me that I deserved to know.”  
  
He's quiet for a moment before he sighs.  
  
"Okay," Ben gives in, and before I can say anything else,  
  
“HEY!” Trenton’s happy voice chirps as he drops down into his seat across from me, elbows on the table and head placed in his hands, smiling brightly like usual.  
  
“Hey, Trenton!” I greet him with as much enthusiasm I can muster.  
  
Ben doesn’t say anything to him. He just looks down at his lap, like he always does when Trenton shows up. I place a comforting hand on his knee, but he continues to stare down at his lap. I sigh, not knowing why he’s so sad all of a sudden. I lean closer to his ear and whisper,  
  
“I love you,”  
  
He blushes at that and now he's smiling at his lap, leaving me to mentally coo and awe at him.  
  
“You’re so cute, Benji!” I chuckle, making him blush even more.  
  
“Okay,” Trenton drags out the y, gaining my attention again.  
  
“What?” I ask him. He only shakes his head.  
  
“You’re not homophobic or anything, are you?” I ask Trenton as my smile fades and I raise an eyebrow. He shakes his head again.  
  
“No, I have another gay friend, and my cousin is gay, too, so I’m not. It’s just...kinda weird...seeing it…”  
  
Stupid excuse but ok. Gotcha.  
  
“No, actually, he’s bisexual, now that I remember.”  
  
Okay?  
  
“So yeah! We’re good.”  
  
“You’re an odd kid, Trenton.”  
  
<><><>  
  
I drag Ben, once again, to the lunch table. Our friends, once again, greet us with “hi, Brusnop!” causing Ben, once again, to blush.  
  
“Ben, eat this, please,” Logan says as she pulls out a snickers bar and holds it out to him. Everyone looks to him expectantly as he stares at the candy for a moment. He eventually takes the chocolate from her and carefully takes it out of the wrapper. He nibbles at the treat for a bit before finally taking a bite, chewing, swallowing (shush). Logan claps happily and I make sure I tell him how proud I am of him for doing it, and he smiles. I think he’s getting better, which really makes me happy. I smile at him and kiss his temple, then,  
  
“OMF- BRUSNOP!” Ariel shouts unnecessarily loud, gaining the attention of surrounding tables. Now there's a decent amount of teenagers studying us with either concerned stares or disapproving scowls, but the fact that they're _still_ staring at us like that irritates us.  
  
“Can I help you??” Raeven snaps at the annoying teenagers. They turn back around and go back to whatever they were doing before, some being sure to smack their teeth and roll their eyes at us before they do. All we do is snicker a bit while Raeven puts on a proud smile.  
  
“That’s my girl!” James chuckles a bit, throwing an arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer to him.  
  
“Works every time,” she chuckles herself.  
  
“It was real awkward,” Ariel says randomly.  
  
“It was your fault,” Cam laughs, so Ariel rolls her eyes.  
  
“No, it was Brusnop’s fault,” she tries as she points at Ben and I.  
  
“Yeah, no more PDA!” Logan butts in playfully. Ben only leans his head on my shoulder with a muttered "whatever". I lean my head on his and smile contently, enjoying the pleasant moment while it lasts.


	29. Chapter 29

"Fuck yeah! Walmart, here we come!" Sam whoops and shouts as he and Logan run across the parking lot and over to the entrance, leaving me and Ben behind as I wonder why I'm even friends with them. Gotta love them, though.

 

"I get to spend the rest of the day with you, babe, then all of tomorrow!" Ben cheers with a wide smile.

 

"Yeah, and I'm looking forward to it!" I cheer with him as I slip my hand in his. His cheeks flush pink as he squeezes my hand back, swinging our hands between us enthusiastically.

 

Sam and Logan are already going wild by the time we both enter the store. When they said they were gonna harass people, I didn't think they meant to this extent; they're grabbing and throwing shit, screeching like fucking monkeys. Watch us get kicked out and banned within the next few minutes. I shake my head in disappointment at them.

 

I can't believe I'm actually witnessing this. Like, this seems like something that only happens in silly little stories, or something.

 

“How long do you think it’ll be before they get kicked out? My guess is maybe in a couple minutes or so,” Ben giggles as if he read my mind.

 

“I was thinking the same.”

 

“I kinda worry about them sometimes.”

 

“I think everyone does,” I agree with him as we follow them, keeping our distance to save ourselves from the embarrassment of getting kicked out. We’d just wait a couple minutes before walking out after them.

 

<><><>

 

Sam and Logan fuck around in the store until they end up being chased out. Ben and I watch from a distance and leave a short while after we feel that the coast is clear.

 

The four of us agreed prior to going to Walmart that Ben would come home with me tonight and Sam would go home with Logan. As me and Ben head to my house, he seems to lose all his enthusiasm from our Walmart adventures, and he looks nervous and dreadful. I give his hand a reassuring squeeze, and he forces a smile up at me.

 

When I get to the door, I let go of his waist and quickly peck his forehead before opening the door, grinning affectionately at him when he blushes once again. I let him inside first like the gentleman I am, locking the door behind us.

 

“I’m home and I brought Ben!” I shout through the house.

 

“Okay! You guys are just in time for dinner!” my mom calls from the kitchen.

 

"You wanna try to at least eat something for me?"

 

He hesitates for a moment, before nodding his head slowly. I offer an encouraging smile as I lead him into the kitchen, dropping his hand before entering the room.

 

“It’s nothing much, sorry, boys!” my mom apologizes as we sit at the table. “Just salad today.”

 

“It’s okay, you shouldn’t have to apologize!” I smile at her as she gives Ben and I a plate of salad before getting some for her and her husband. We eat in a comfortable silence. Ben eats a little over half of his salad before he resorts to pushing his leafy food around on his plate as he waits for me to finish.

 

I quickly help my parents with the dishes before leading Ben upstairs, being sure to let him know how proud I am of him on the way up.

 

When we do get to my room, I lock the door behind us before turning back to my boyfriend, who stood staring at his feet.

 

“I'm pretty sure I already know what's under there,” I start quietly, referring to his hoodie. "And I love you so, so much, and I just wanna make sure you're okay."

 

He nods, fumbling with the hem of his hoodie for a moment. "Can I keep my shirt on?"

 

"Yeah."

 

He hesitates for another moment before pulling it over his head, shivering a bit from the cold of my room as he drops it by his feet, revealing exactly what I feared was hiding under his hoodie.

 

I grab his left hand and turn it over so I could see his wrist better. Many scars lined his arm, some new, some old. It was the same for his right arm.

 

Are they anywhere else?"

 

"They're pretty much everywhere, honestly."

 

My baby didn’t deserve this. No one deserves this at all. It really breaks my heart to know that he’s been hurting so much that he had to do this to himself just to cope. I gently pull him into a hug, and he immediately fits his forehead into the crook of my neck.

 

“Do you need to talk about it?”

 

I feel him shake his head. "No."

 

“You sure?"

 

"Positive."

 

"Alright, I won't make you."

 

"Thank you for always being there for me, though."

 

"Anytime, Benji."


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so this chapter is pretty much the same as seen in the original fic like two years ago, just minor changes... it's so freaking cringe worthy but i laughed my ass off while reading it but it's so awkward and doesnt even really make sense so i apologize in advance. so yeah dont be surprised if i take it down in like a few days rip

Ben and I decided we'd cuddle for a while since we didn't really have much else to do, so he laid right on top of me and fell asleep as I held him.  
  
And, I've been smelling his hair. It smells amazing, you don't understand. Shush.  
  
I watch Ben and pet his hair as he adorably sleeps, until his phone received a text from his back pocket, waking him up. He sleepily glances around the room for a moment, offering a shy smile when he finally makes eye contact with me. I smile back at him as I reach for his phone and pull it out of his pocket. I break eye contact to see who it was.  
  
 _Take a wild fucking guess._  
  
“Who is it?”  
  
“I’ll handle it,” I tell him as I start to read the message.  
  
 **DJ: bby I miss u. fck Danny and b mine again ;)**  
  
I glare at the phone and furiously type in a response, threatening him as brutally as my angry mind can.  
  
“It’s DJ, isn’t it?” Ben mutters as he sits up a bit and tries to glance at the phone.  
  
“Yes.”  
  
After I click send, he takes the phone out of my hand and decides to read it out loud.  
  
“You better fucking back the fuck off or I’ll fucking slit your throat with the biggest sharpest blade I can fucking find and shit down your fucking throat and rip your fucking eyes out of your fucking head so you can fucking watch the shit fall out of your fucking throat because I slit it so fucking bad.”  
  
Then Ben laughs.  
  
It's very cute.  
  
“That’s so cute,” he giggles afterwards. It makes me smile. This boy just may be the death of me. He sits up all the way so that he's straddling my hips. Me likey, mhm. He stretches and yawns before rubbing at his tired eyes.  
  
"Danny, I'm bored," he whines a little as he pushes himself off my lap. I sit up with a smile as I think of an idea.  
  
"Wanna try to kiss again and hope no one walks in on us?" I ask him, earning the roll of his eyes and a chuckle.  
  
"Just lock the door, dummy! And you didn't have to ask, Danny, you know I’d love to," Ben laughs.  
  
"True," I say as I get up and walk over to the door, locking it, before going back over to Ben. I sit down on the bed in front of Ben and do a weird salute thing.  
  
"The door is now locked!" I chirp with a nod. He giggles and blushes a bit before leaning in and pressing his soft, pierced lips to mine. I smile as I enjoy the coolness of his lip rings pressed to my lips and the sweet taste of his own, which tasted like some sort of candy I can’t quite remember the name of.  
  
No one interrupted us yet, so I gently grab Ben's hips and pull him onto my lap. His hands go up to both sides of my head and holds it where he wants it as mine remain on his hips, pulling him against me.  
  
The kiss becomes more heated as I trace my tongue along his bottom lip, asking for entrance. He parts his lips so I let my tongue slip into his mouth and explore it a bit. His mouth doesn’t taste how his lips do, they taste like vodka. I kinda surprised me at first, but then I remembered the night I went in his room and saw a lot of empty bottles and cigarettes. I push the thought away and focus on the beautiful boy on my lap instead, and how he’s all mine.  
  
He pulls back for air, so I move my lips to his jaw and kiss my way down to his neck.  
  
We couldn't go any further because, of course, we're interrupted again.  
  
Ben looks at me with a disappointed frown as the cockblock continues to bang on the door like a fucking lunatic.  
  
"This happens every time," he whispers as he gets off of me so I can move.  
  
"I know, but we'll get our privacy one day," I whisper back to him as I get up to answer the door.  
  
To my surprise, it was Trenton.  
  
I don't ever remember giving him my address, which really confuses the shit out of me.  
  
He stares up at me with a poker face before handing me a folded sheet of paper, so I take it.  
  
"DJ told me to give this to you. I gotta go, it's getting pretty late, and I should get home before Waldo gets grounded. Bye."  
  
Before I can say anything, he whirls around and heads downstairs again. So, he came over... just to give me a note from DJ... Honestly, what the fuck is life right now.  
  
“ _BEN WILL BE MINE AGAIN SOMEDAY, IT WILL JUST TAKE CONVINCING LOL_ ”  
  
"FUCK. THAT. SHIT," I growl in between every rip of the paper and stuff it in my pocket.  
  
DJ's fucking stupid. A fucking stupid asshole.  
  
He's fucking crazy too. Like I'm watching some bad thriller or some shit. Or I'm in some shitty fanfiction or something.  
  
I mean, who the fuck writes a note to give their friend to give someone a note like that?  
  
And does he really think he can convince Ben to go back to him? Leave me for _him_?! HA! Fucking funny!  
  
"Danny, what's wrong?" Ben's worried voice asks me. I glance at him, who was suddenly in front of me.  
  
"Don't worry about it, baby," I sigh and kiss his forehead. He wraps his frail arms around me and sighs.  
  
“I’m sorry, Danny,” he mumbles into my chest. I frown.  
  
“For what, Ben?” I ask as I gently hug him back.  
  
“It’s my fault.”  
  
“Why do you say that?”  
  
“He probably wouldn’t be acting this way if I never...dated him in the first place.”  
  
“That was a long time ago. And it’s all okay, don’t worry about him.”  
  
“It still bothers me, though.”  
  
"I'll beat his ass next time I see him."  
  
"Looking forward to it."


	31. Chapter 31

It was now around nine in the afternoon, and Ben was snuggled into my side as he played some game on his iPhone. I watch as he drags his phone around his screen, guiding some sort of worm towards the colorful circles, and touching a button to make the worm dash away whenever a bigger worm tried to circle around it. The game seems to be a bit laggy, and he groans and curses whenever he runs into another worm, threatening to throw his phone against the wall (I had to grab his hands a couple times to stop him from doing so a couple times).  
  
He's a big worm now, and he's circling and trapping another smaller worm, but the game jumps, making him accidentally run into the small worm. Ben's worm turns into a mass of colorful circles, which the small worm (along with others that seemed to dash out of nowhere) ate what was left of him.  
  
“You know what, fuck you!” Ben yells at it as he turns his phone off. I can't help but laugh at the smol boy, who looks to me with a pout.  
  
“You’re so cute, Benny!” I murmur into his ear. He sighs, and I subconsciously begin to pet his hair.  
  
“That game is hard as a bitch. Never playing it again,” he whines again as he scoots closer to me, toying with the sleeves of his hoodie.  
  
I don’t like his hoodie. I feel that it probably carries too many bad memories.  
  
“Benji, how long did you have this hoodie?” I ask him gently as I pet his hair out of his face as best as I can.  
  
“Since I was a freshmen,” he answers simply.  
  
“Can I get you a new one?” I ask him. He blinks at me before shrugging.  
  
“Why not?”  
  
"Sweet," I respond as I get up and go over to my closet, pulling one of my favorite hoodies out. I think I got this thing last year, from one of my old friends I no longer know the name of. Something along the lines of Polly or Piper or something. I remember she was really sweet, but we ended up hooking up somewhere along the way, and she hasn't spoken to me much ever since. Bitch ass hoes being my friend just for some dick... pathetic.  
  
I roll my eyes as I turn to Ben and walk over to him, handing him the hoodie.  
  
“One of my favorites,” I smile at him as he stares lovingly at it.  
  
“You sure, Danny?” he asks me as he sniffs it, making me laugh. He's so weird and it's so cute, dude.  
  
I sit on the bed next to him and tell him again that yes, he can have it.  
  
He gives me a look, and I turn to face the other way, respecting his privacy. He tells me that it's okay to look now, and I turn back around. I notice that it’s pretty big on him, bigger than his old hoodie, which was already oversized. I mean, I expected it to be big, but not quite _this_ big. I consider getting him a new one until I notice how much Ben seems to like the hoodie, as he smiles wider and hugs himself with it. I smile wide at him, trying not to spontaneously combust with how fucking _cute_ my fucking boyfriend is and how much I fucking love every little fucking thing about him.  
  
“You really like this old thing, huh?” I ask as I lean my head onto his shoulder, gazing up at him through my eyelashes.  
  
“Yeah, it was yours. It smells like you.”  
  
I peck his nose, and he blushes furiously, typical Ben behavior.  
  
“I’m glad you like it, babe.”  
  
“Danny, I’m tired,” he says as he leans his head onto mine, letting out a yawn.  
  
“Alright, sleep then. I’m gonna go take a shower real quick.” I pull some clothes out of the dresser and head into the bathroom across the hall.  
  
Now that I think about it, it’s really been a while since I last showered. I do what I bet any of you would do: sniff my pits.  
  
“Pretty funky,” I grimace as I turn on the shower. "How did Ben stand being around me?"  
  
I take my much needed shower and do all the post-shower activities before exiting the bathroom.  
  
I go across the hall and into my bedroom, seeing that the light is already turned off, and Ben was already in bed. I know he's asleep too once I get closer to him, hearing the soft and quiet sound of his snoring. I crawl into bed next to him, pressing myself against his back, where I fall asleep moments later.  
  
<><><>  
  
When I wake up, I frown upon seeing that Ben was no longer in my arms. I also notice how dark it still was. I groan and let myself roll out of bed, hitting my head against the nightstand. I groan again, this time in pain, as I get up and grab the closest phone to me, which turned out to be Ben's. I turn it on to check the time.  
  
2:27 am.  
  
Dammit.  
  
I decide to look for Ben. I turn my light on and wince at the intensity of the light after being in the dark so long. I let my eyes adjust to the light before walking out of the room.  
  
I noticed the bathroom door closed, and light shining from under it.  
  
Ben's probably in there.  
  
I knock in it, and his voice answers.  
  
"Are you okay?" my worried voice asks him.  
  
"I'm fine, Danny! I just had to use the bathroom!" Ben tells me, his voice cracking a bit. I try the doorknob, and it turns out that he didn't lock the door. I push the door open to see him standing in front of the door, as if he was trying to leave before I came along. I could also hear that his breath was a bit shaky as well.  
  
"I swear I didn't do anything. I went to the bathroom."  
  
"Not gonna flush? Or wash your hands?"  
  
He says nothing for a few seconds.  
  
"I was just getting to that," he murmurs as he avoids eye contact and turns back to the toilet.  
  
“Heh, all done. Back to bed now.”  
  
He turns to the door again, but I block the exit before he can get far. I gently set my fingers under his chin, tilting his head up, making eye contact with him. His eyes are pink and puffy, tears staining his flushed cheeks.  
  
“Benji, baby, you're not telling the truth,” I start, gazing into his eyes. “I can’t help you if you lie.”  
  
He stares back for a few seconds, until I catch tears welling up in his eyes again and he buries his face in my chest.  
  
“I’m sorry, Danny,” he whispers dejectedly as I wrap my arms around him, a loving embrace.  
  
“It's gonna be okay,” I tell him. “I’m gonna try everything I can to help you.”  
  
I feel him nod against my chest as he hums.  
  
"Good. Now, let's get you cleaned up."


	32. Chapter 32

I wake up again at four in the fucking morning when Ben sneezes loudly, jumping back against the wall from the sudden fright. Ben gawks at me as this happens, and we just kinda stare at each other for a moment before he starts laughing at me as if that was the funniest shit the world has to offer. Ben has one of the most contagious laughs ever, as cliche as this may sound, and I couldn't help but laugh right along with him, despite it being four in the morning (my parents won't appreciate me and Ben waking them up at such early hours at all-- they won't even like _us_ being up so early, honestly).

  
Our laughter eventually ceases, leaving us to just smile at each other, and Ben doesn't even bother to cover up his smile this time. Instead, he reaches for my hand to play with my fingers, also typical Ben behavior, along with his constant blushing.  
  
“You have soft fingers,” Ben chuckles a bit himself. I use my free hand to trace my fingertips up and down his jawline, occasionally straying off the path to graze his cheek.  
  
“And you have a soft face, like a baby’s ass cheeks.”  
  
“A baby's ass cheeks?” he giggles, pressing more into my hand, just like a cat would.  
  
“A baby's ass cheeks, yeah.”  
  
"All the soft things in the world, and I have to be some ass cheeks," Ben feigns disappointment, followed by a dramatic sigh.  
  
"You love it," I laugh. "Go to sleep, ass cheeks."  
  
<><><>  
  
It's noon now, and Ben and I are cuddling with his back to my chest. He's playing another one of those silly internet games on his phone, Google Feud. He's been playing in the questions category this whole time, and all I have to say is that people google some stupid ass shit. We both laugh whenever we see a weird and/or pathetic answer, and Ben gets frustrated whenever an answer is so dumb that it's impossible to guess it.  
  
He's about to start the next round when someone starts calling his phone, an unsaved number flashing across his screen. It's from our area code, though, but that only makes Ben a little more nervous. I offer to answer the call for him, who responds by placing the phone into my hand.  
  
I sit up and answer the call, putting it up to my ear. "Hello?"  
  
"Hello? Who is this?" an older, unfamiliar, feminine voice asks. Whoever the fuck this is doesn't sound too pleased, though.  
  
"Um, _you_ called _me_?? Who is this??"  
  
“I'm DJ Reed's mom, and he's been receiving unpleasant messages from this number."  
  
"Okay, but it was to defend myself?? I'm not just gonna sit here and take shit from someone, pardon my french," I say, trying my best not to get an attitude with this lady.  
  
"I've scrolled through them all. He hasn't even sent you a single message. You're gonna stop texting my son or I'll report you to the police."  
  
 _What the fuck??_ Dude, this fucking asshole probably deleted the fucking messages on his phone and left the ones I sent!!  
  
"Do you realize that you can fucking delete messages from your own phone?? I can send you screenshots from my own phone if you don't believe me," I snap back, not being able to hold back my attitude anymore.  
  
“You better drop the attitude right now. And I don't need you to send me screenshots, my son wouldn't lie to me about this.”  
  
“Jesus _fucking_ Christ, you are one stupid ass bitch! Why would I offer to send screenshots if I was fucking lying?? I would look fucking dumb as shit after not being able to send them!"  
  
"You _sound_ dumb right now."  
  
"LIKE YOU'RE FUCKING ONE TO FUCKING TALK!! WHY AM I EVEN WASTING MY FUCKING BREATH--"  
  
"Woah, what's going on in here??" my mom calls out as she slams my door open. "Who are you on the phone with?"  
  
"Remember that DJ kid I told you about? His mom!"  
  
"Here, I'll handle it," my mom says, walking into my room to take the phone before leaving again.  
  
Me and Ben are both quiet as I sit, trembling in anger and glaring into space as I try to calm myself down. I fucking hate stupid people like her, they always piss me off so bad. Typical fucking mom who thinks their children are too perfect for this earth. Dumbass bitch.  
  
"Danny, are you okay?" Ben whispers hesitantly.  
  
"The Dsnop is definitely kicking DJ's ass next time we see him," I grumble out as I lay back down next to Ben, cuddling against him.


	33. Chapter 33

My mom gave us Ben's phone back after she dealt with DJ's mom before she went somewhere with my dad, letting us know that they wouldn't be back until late. We decided we’d look for his journal, or diary, or whatever he calls it, while they were gone, since they’re not here to walk in on us searching through their stuff in their room.  
  
But we can’t find it anywhere.  
  
“I’m fucked,” Ben groans as he throws himself down on my parents’ bed. I sigh as I put away the last of the books and sit down next to Ben on the bed.  
  
“We’ll find it soon, it’s gotta be here somewhere,” I mutter softly to him, moving to rub a comforting hand on his back.  
  
“What if they read it before we can get to it, Danny?” he cries as he sits up. “I wrote some stuff that I don’t want them finding out in it! I mean, we don't know how they'd react to it!”  
  
“I don't know, what kind of stuff did you put in it?”  
  
“You know, how my day went, about my past, what I thought would happen in the future, my feelings. You know, that night I met you-- I wrote a lot about you.”  
  
“You did?” I ask dumbly, a smile forcing itself onto my face.  
  
“Yeah. I had this huge crush on you,” he blushes as he scoots closer to me. I pull him closer to me until he's pressed into my side, head leaning onto my shoulder. “It’s kinda funny, because it kinda made me hate you a tiny bit, heh.”  
  
Rip to the smile on my face.  
  
“You did?” I ask rather dejectedly.  
  
“Yeah, because I didn’t wanna fall in love again just to end up getting my heart broken, you know? But you’re amazing, Danny,” he confesses. “I love you.”  
  
And just like Lazarus or whoever, my smile rises from the dead.  
  
“You’re perfect, ass cheek. And I love you too,” I tell him before kissing his forehead and pulling him closer to me.  
  
"You're still calling me ass cheek?? I thought I was your Benji," Ben laughs.  
  
"What, I can't have more than one nickname for my beb?" I laugh along, glancing at the clock on my parent's night stand.  
  
It's getting a little late already. I still gotta walk you to Cam's," I say, and he hums in disappointment.  
  
"We still haven't found my book," Ben brings up. I promise him that I'll try to look for it more after I get back. He goes to grab his stuff from my room before we head downstairs.  
  
“You didn't eat yet today. Wanna eat something before we leave, Benji?,” I ask him, looking to him expectantly.  
  
“Do I have a choice?” he asks sarcastically.  
  
“You do, I can't force you to do anything,” I tell him. "But I really think you should eat. I can make you half of a sandwich, at least?"  
  
He agrees reluctantly, and I guide him into the kitchen, where he sits at the table while I get everything out to make a sandwich. When I finish making it, I use the knife I dressed the sandwich with to cut it in half.  
  
"Just so you know," I start, handing one half to Ben and keeping the other for myself. "I make sandwiches so good that they make you wanna slap your mama and call her a bitch."  
  
Ben giggles a little at that before hesitantly nibbling at his sandwich.  
  
"So, how is it?" I ask, biting into my own.  
  
"It's okay."  
  
"Rip at me," I joke, feigning offence, making Ben laugh again.  
  
"I'm kidding, it's one of the best sandwiches I've ever had," Ben says.  
  
"Yeah, so you wanna eat on the way? It's getting dark out," I suggest, and he nods in agreement.


	34. Chapter 34

Ben and I talked about the teachers at our school as we walked to Cam's house, hand in hand, appreciating the ones we liked and criticizing the ones we didn't. Ben eventually brought up Mrs. Brown and how much the old woman's titties sagged, which had me cackling out into the night.  
  
"Nah, nah, that's foul!" I say in between laughs.  
  
"You know you've never seen anyone with titties that sagged the way her's do," Ben laughs defensively.  
  
"You're such an asshole, I love it!" I say as we get to Cam's door. I ring the doorbell before speaking again. "But you're right, she has the saggiest titties I've ever seen."  
  
"What's this about saggy tits?" Cam asks as he opens the door almost immediately.  
  
"We were just talking about how bad Mrs. Brown's titties sag," Ben fills him in, and Cam's face scrunches up in disgust.  
  
"Ew, now all I can see are her boobs. And I don't even think she wears a bra, I can see her nipples through her shirt sometimes," Cam says, shaking his head with a sigh.  
  
"Oh my gosh, I know!! How does she get away with that??" I laugh, and Ben looks confused.  
  
“Am I the only one who hasn’t seen her pointy nipples? I only remember the sagginess,” Ben says awkwardly.  
  
"How have you never noticed?" Cam asks Ben incredulously, who only shrugs sheepishly in reply.  
  
“Maybe her titties sag so much he can't even notice the nips!" I defend my smol boyfriend, causing us all to laugh again.  
  
“What’s all this about titties and how they sag?” Ariel asks as she suddenly appears behind Cam at the door.  
  
“Mrs. Brown’s titties are the saggiest sags I’ve ever seen!” I say. Ariel starts guffawing uncontrollably, doubling over and holding her stomach, and I honestly don't think it's quite that funny... but this is Ariel. Her laughing gets so bad that she has to walk away for a moment to cool down, walking back to the three of us when she recovers.  
  
“Those sacks of p-” she couldn’t even finish her sentence without bursting with laughter again, causing us to raise an eyebrow at her. She collapses from laughing so fucking much, and we just stare down at her as if she’s a rare breed of species.  
  
“Those sacks- of- _powder_ -!” she strains and laughs even harder, holding her stomach again as tears start to fucking stream down her face. She rolls over and gets on her hands and knees and starts to crawl away, not being able to get back up from laughing so hard.  
  
"I can't believe I'm dating that monstrosity," Cam sighs jokingly.


	35. Chapter 35

<><><>okay time skip to monday morning<><><>  
  
All of my friends are standing outside of the school when I get there, and I furrow my eyebrows curiously.  
  
"What's going on, guys?" I ask when I approach the group.  
  
"Ben told us that you were planning on beating DJ's ass harder than you've ever beat anyone's ass and we want front row seats," Ariel says.  
  
"Alright. You guys let me know when you see him," I say as we start heading towards the school doors.  
  
"Guys, guess what?" Cam mutters out of nowhere, gaining everyone's attention.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Saggy titties," Cam strains before letting out a snicker, Ben and Ariel snickering along, leaving everyone else confused (I was a little to riled up and prepared to fight to laugh with them).  
  
“Sacks of- powder-” Ben mocks Ariel’s exact words, making them snicker even more.  
  
“Okay, what the fuck is going on?” Raeven snaps, sick of feeling left out of the joke. Ben explains to her what we were talking about on Saturday, and everyone else joins in on their giggling.  
  
"Wait, there he is," Sam says, pointing in the direction of the school parking lot.  
  
<><><>  
  
I beat the shit out of DJ just like I had promised, but someone ran and got security when he started blacking out.  
  
So as the high school security pulled me off of him, I couldn't help but smirk at how pathetic he looked, all beaten and afraid. I could get suspended or maybe even expelled since I've done this so much, but honestly, it's worth it. And plus, maybe this asshole will definitely fuck off after I held back for nothing this time.  
  
Security pulled me off to the principal's office as some other staff helped DJ off the floor and to the nurse, my friends being told to follow me for cheering me on, which is honestly fucking ridiculous if you ask me.  
  
<><><>  
  
I didn’t get expelled, thankfully, but I’m suspended for fucking ten days while my friends have in school suspension for today.  
  
Surprisingly, my parents weren’t that pissed at me for getting suspended, most likely because I lied and said that it was self defense (the stupid principal didn’t believe me, obviously. I got fucking suspended).  
  
When we got to the house, I went right up to my room to take a nap. I didn’t really have anything better to do, and it’s still kinda early, anyways.  
  
<><><>  
  
My mom calls me down for dinner, so I head downstairs and into the kitchen. I see the two of them have already started eating, and my plate was already waiting for me on the table. I sit down and thank them before eating.  
  
I wasn’t a thousand percent sure what the hell it was, some kind of weird chicken, I think, with mashed potatoes and green beans on the side. I mix the potatoes and green beans together so I don’t taste the green beans as much, before moving on to the meat.  
  
But before I can even touch the meat, my mom speaks up.  
  
“Danny, I think we should talk.”  
  
I raise my eyebrows at her, feeling a little anxious at how serious she looked. I didn’t think they were too upset about me getting suspended, but I guess I was wrong.  
  
“Yeah, what’s up?” I ask, even though I already know what this is about.  
  
“We found this,” she says sternly as she sets a black composition book on the table between us, and my jaw and stomach both drop.  
  
They found Ben’s book.  
  
This is _exactly_ what Ben and I were dreading, and by the looks of this situation, they didn’t have the good sense to _not_ read it, and I’m sure they didn’t like what they found written at all.  
  
If I was having this conversation with anyone else, I’d snap at them, but these are my parents who’ve never done anything wrong to me, and have done nothing to deserve it. So, I keep my cool for the sake of my parents.  
  
“Yeah, what about it?”  
  
“We don’t think he’s a good influence on you, Daniel,” my dad speaks for my mother, who put his utensils down to completely engage in this conversation. I gawk at him as he speaks, dread starting to overwhelm me as I know where this is going. “He drinks, he smokes, he starves himself, he even mutilates himself! It’s sick and we don’t want you getting involved in that spiral.”  
  
“And on top of all of that, he has a crush on you! We’re afraid he’ll try to make a move on you. We don’t want you hanging out with him anymore,” my mom adds.  
  
And there it is, my reason to snap.  
  
“Well, that’s tough shit!”  
  
“ _Excuse_ me?!”  
  
“You heard me! You can’t stop me from hanging out with Ben!” I yell, trembling from the adrenaline brought by this argument. Mom’s face starts contorting in anger, and something deep down is screaming at me to just drop it, but once I’m riled up I have a hard time stopping.  
  
“I. Don’t. Want. You. Hanging. Out. With. Ben.”  
  
“I. Don’t. Give. A. Fuck,” I spit back with equal venom, and she slams her hands onto the table as she abruptly stands.  
  
“I’m not playing, Daniel! No more Ben! We don’t need his gay and emo bullshit rubbing off on you!” she screams at me now.  
  
“It’s not bullshit, mom! It’s serious!” I scream, tears starting to spill now as I stand too, and it’s like Dad wasn’t even in here at all. “And you can’t take Ben away from me!”  
  
“And what makes you think that?!”  
  
“Because I love him, damn it!” I scream back at her in the heat of the moment, freezing when I realize what I’ve just said.  
  
“W-what?”  
  
I take a deep breath, collecting myself a bit.  
  
“We’ve been dating for a couple weeks now,” I confess to them, feeling as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. “He’s my everything, you can’t take My Benji away from me.”  
  
And now it’s out, my sexuality, and my relationship with Ben-- just like that.  
  
Mom doesn’t say anything else for a moment, just gapes at me in shock. I glance at Dad, who had the same reaction.  
  
“You’re… You’re _gay_?”  
  
“Yes, Mom. I’m gay, I’ve known for a few years now. If you can’t accept me for who I am, then just let me know. I’ll be out the door, out of your lives. There’s no point in staying if you can’t accept me.”  
  
The two don’t say anything for a moment, and my heart sinks into my stomach.  
  
“Just...Just get out for a while, get your mind straight. You’re not making any sense right now. You can’t be gay, you just...can’t be...” my mom finally mutters, looking lost and dejected and _ashamed_.  
  
I do my best to hold back a sob as I stare at my mother, who was supposed to be one of my best friends. I didn’t actually expect her to kick me out, and what made me feel worse was the fact that my dad didn’t even say anything.  
  
“Alright, I’m gone!” I croak out. “But I can’t believe this is worth losing your fucking son over.”  
  
I grab Ben’s book and walk away, neither of them saying anything as I go. I pack a few things and leave the house, slamming the door so hard it rattles the windows. I take a moment to text Raeven, asking her if I can crash at hers since Ben is there. She replies almost immediately, letting me know that I was welcome any time.  
  
So I start walking over, the cold biting at my exposed skin and stained cheeks since I was too distraught to even think about grabbing a jacket, the argument looping and plaguing my mind.


	36. Chapter 36

I ring the doorbell when I finally get to Raeven's house.  A second barely goes by before the door is swung open, and Raevan gasps a little.

 

  
“Dude, are you crying?? And it’s cold outside, January, and you’re only wearing a tee shirt!”  She pulls me into her warm, comfy house, closing the door behind me. 

 

  
“Why are you crying, Danny? I’ve never seen you cry before,” she asks me again.

 

  
“My parents kicked me out,” I tell her as I wipe the tears from my eyes.

 

  
“Why?”

 

  
“Well, my parents found about everything Ben does to himself and that he likes me, told me that he was a bad influence, and that they didn’t want me to hang out with him anymore. Then me and my mom got into this huge argument, which lead to me accidentally telling them that me and Ben were together and that they couldn't take him away from me. I told them that if they couldn’t accept that, then I’d leave, so my mom kicked me out and told me to get my head straight.”

 

  
She listened to what I had to say, not intterupting once.  She sighs and gives me a quick hug when I finish.

 

  
“You can stay here for as long as you need, Danny.”

 

  
“Yeah, thank you. But let me know when I start crossing lines or overstaying my welcome. I don’t wanna be a burden.”

 

  
“No, no, you don't have to worry about that. Plus, you’re super fun to be with, anyone would be lucky to hang with you all day,” she reassures me with a wide smile.  I chuckle and put on a small smirk, making her a tad bit happier.

 

  
“I know, I’m the Dsnop,” I say to lighten the mood.  “Where’s Ben?”

 

  
“Upstairs, room at the very end of the hallway.”

 

  
I nod a thanks as I walk around her and up the stairs, into the room.  I see Ben laying in the middle of the floor, one arm draped across his eyes, the other holding his phone.

 

  
I put my bags down before I quietly make my way over to him, and he never notices me approaching.  I sit next to him, and he still doesn’t notice.  Then I move so that I’m hovering over him, lowering my face towards his, pecking his lips when I'm close enough.  He makes a tired sound, and it dawns on me that he must've been asleep.  He uncovers his beautiful eyes to stare into my red, puffy ones.

 

  
“Danny, what’s wrong? You’ve been crying,” he asks me sleepily.  I sigh and move so that I’m sitting next to him instead of hovering over him, and he sits up too.  Instead of saying anything, I reach for one of my bags and pull out Ben's notebook, handing it to him.

 

  
"You found it!"

 

  
"My parents did, actually."

 

  
He looks back up at me with wide, anxious eyes.  "Did they read it?"

 

  
“Yeah, they read your journal.” 

 

  
He tenses, looking back to his book and flipping subconsciously through the pages.

 

  
"What happened after they found out?"

 

  
“They told me that they didn't want us hanging out anymore, and I argued with my mom about it, and I ended up telling them that I loved you. Turns out my mom's homophobic and she kicked me out. My dad didn't even fucking say anything, so I don't know what's up with him.” 

 

  
“I’m so sorry, Dan,” he says quietly as he leans against me.

 

  
“No, don't apologize. They're not worth shit if they tried to take you away from me.”

 

  
“I love you, Danny,” he mutters as he grabs my hand and begins to play with my fingers.

 

  
“I love you too,” I say as I bring oue hands up to kiss his knuckles, watching as a blush tints his cheeks cutely.  He smiles shyly at me as he starts to lean in, actually making the first move for once.  It surprises me, honestly, but I smile anyways as I lean in to close the gap faster. 

 

  
"Awe, you guys are so gay," I hear Raeven say not even a second afterwards.  Ben pulls away sheepishly and I send a glare Raeven's way for interrupting us, but she only smiles innocently in return before entering the room.  "You guys wanna sleep in my bed or on the air mattress?"

 

  
"We can sleep on the air mattress," I answer.  She nods and heads to her closet and pulls it out, and me and Ben move out of the way so she can blow it up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, the next chapter will be the last one, i'm pretty sure. it should be uploaded within the next twenty four hours, i promise this time


	37. Chapter 37

I'm woken up around six in the morning when my phone starts ringing. I quickly glance at both Ben and Raeven to see if my phone woke them up too, but surprisingly, they're still sleeping peacefully.  
  
I grab my phone with a groan of frustration and look to the screen, my eyes widening a little in surprise when I see my dad's contact across the screen.  
  
I answer the call with a heavy heart and hold it up to my ear. "Yes?"  
  
"Hey, Daniel," my father's hoarse voice speaks from the other line. "How are you?"  
  
"Are you seriously asking me this after kicking me out less than twelve hours ago?" comes my dry response, being sure to speak in a hushed tone so I don't wake anyone.  
  
"Your mother kicked you out, Daniel," he's quick to defend myself, which is fucking petty, if you ask me.  
  
"Okay, but you didn't stop it from happening," I retort, and he doesn't say anything else. I speak again after another moment of silence passes by. "Why did you call me?"  
  
"Look, Daniel, what your mother did last night was completely unreasonable. I honestly don't care that you're gay, or that you're dating another boy. I just don't want you following in Ben's footsteps."  
  
"I won't, I'm trying to help him get better. Doing the same stuff he's doing won't help him at all. You should trust me more, Dad."  
  
He's quiet again for a moment, and I take it as a bad sign. I open my mouth to speak, but he beats me to it.  
  
"You're right, Daniel. You're a smart kid, and you're almost an adult. You should be able to make your own decisions."  
  
"Wow. Thanks. That means so much," and maybe my sarcasm wasn't necessary at all, but he seems unfazed by it as he continues to speak.  
  
"Anyways, I talked to your mother. Come home, and bring Ben so I can talk to him, but just give your mother some space, yeah?"  
  
Now it's my turn to bring a moment of silence into this conversation as I consider his offer.  
  
"I'll think about it."  
  
"Okay. Talk to you later, Daniel," he says, and I can faintly hear disappointment behind his words, but I shrug it off as I mumble a simple response before the call disconnects.  
  
I'm having mixed emotions about this whole fucking situation. I honestly don't want to go back to that house at all, but I can't stay at Raeven's forever, so what fucking choice do I have?  
  
I brood about it until I hear an alarm go off on Raeven's phone, but she and Ben continue snoozing happily, unaware to the alarm going off. These kids are some heavy ass sleepers, because holy shit, how do they not hear it??  
  
I take it upon myself to just wake them up myself since Raeven's alarm couldn't do the job. I start with Ben first, obviously, since he's curled up against me.  
  
I look down at the sleeping mass of human, who had his head on my chest as he clung onto me in his sleep. The sight is so precious and pure that I almost decide to just watch him sleep and make him miss school right along with me, but then I remember the alarm still ringing out obnoxiously, and honestly, Ben would probably hate me for making him miss school.  
  
So, I gently shake his shoulder until he lets out a groggy groan, his eyes fluttering open and briefly scanning his surroundings.  
  
"Morning, ass cheeks," I greet him cheerily, who, still half asleep, sends me a confused look.  
  
"Ass cheeks?"  
  
"Yeah, and Ass Cheeks has to get ready for school. Up," I say, coaxing him into sitting up before getting off the air mattress and heading towards Raeven.  
  
I grip her shoulder and give it a rough shove, waking her instantly.  
  
"The fuck?" she asks sleepily, temporarily dazed. It only takes a short moment for her to wake up, and she shrugs my hand off of her arm as she sits up, grabbing at her alarm.  
  
"Worthless piece of nothing," she spits at the device in her hands as she turns it off. "Thanks for waking me up, Danny."  
  
"I didn't wanna hear the alarm anymore," I tease, earning a feigned look of irritation from the girl. "But anyways, my dad called me a little while ago."  
  
"Why?" she asks, raising a concerned brow at me.  
  
"He said he wants me and Ben to go back over, so I guess we'll head over after you guys get back from school."  
  
"Okay. If something happens, you're more than welcome to come back, and I'm sure the others won't mind taking you in as well," Raeven offers before waving me off. "Now shoo, I gotta get dressed."  
  
<><><>  
  
Ben and I are both quiet as we both walk back to my house. Neither of us wanted to be there right now or any time soon, but sometimes you can't run away from what's stressing you out, unfortunately.  
  
I still have my key to the house, so I use it to unlock the door, letting Ben in first before entering myself, locking the door behind me.  
  
Both of my parents are sitting on the couch and watching tv when we walk into the living room. My mom completely ignores us as she continues to gaze apathetically at the tv, but my dad offers a kind smile.  
  
"It's good to have you home, Daniel," my dad greets me before aiming his next words to Ben. "Let me talk to you for a minute."  
  
Ben nods anxiously as my dad stands, leading him into the kitchen, leaving me to stand awkwardly in the living room with my mom. I decide to sit where my dad was sitting on the couch a second ago, my mother still refusing to even breathe in my direction.  
  
It's awkward as fuck, and I wish my dad would hurry up and finish talking to Ben so I'm not alone with my mother anymore.  
  
After another agonizing moment goes by, I risk a glance in my mother’s direction, the exact same time she does the same to me, and our eyes meet. She looks stressed out and guilty as she lets out a soft sigh.  
  
"I'm sorry I reacted the way I did, that wasn't okay," she whispers, averting her eyes sheepishly. "But, um... It really hit me how wrong I was when you mentioned us losing you. You're my son, and as your mother, I'm supposed to love you unconditionally and be there for you no matter what. I mean, what kind of mother would I be if I didn't?"  
  
"A crappy one, honestly," I say, and she rolls her eyes playfully at me.  
  
"I love you so much, Danny. Even though you like boys," she says, and this is exactly why I can't take this woman seriously, because she always has to make a joke out of everything.  
  
I love it.  
  
<><><>  
  
I chilled with my mom for the rest of the day to try and get rid of any trace of negativity left from the argument. It's still a little awkward, and I think it might be for a while, but I'm okay with that. It's better than being out of each other's lives after all this time, especially with how close we were prior.  
  
Ben had told me that my dad gave him that typical speech dads tell their daughter's boyfriends, and I couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous that is, but I guess I appreciate my dad looking out for me.  
  
(an: okay the rest of this chapter is from the original story two years ago)  
  
It was about time to go to bed, so I had Ben in my arms in the dark room, trying to fall asleep since Ben was already slightly snoring his cute little snores. I watch the sleeping beauty as I move the hair that fell over his face behind his ear, so I could see it. He’s honestly the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. The sweetest, cutest thing ever.  
  
He hasn’t seen himself the way I do. He thought he was ugly, fat, had a horrible smile, stupid, a freak, worthless, but he was anything but. I mean, yeah, he did have some flaws, but who doesn’t? His imperfections make him perfect, as thousands of people said about the ones they loved.  
  
He snuggles closer to me in his sleep, making me awe. He was just too adorable. I pet his face like he was a cat, liking how soft and smooth his face was. He had very soft skin, and I loved that.  
  
I smell his hair, enjoying the scent of it. I’m probably being really creepy, but oh fucking well.  
  
I kiss his forehead, making him stir a bit. His eyes flutter open and he looks up at me with a small smile.  
  
“Sorry I woke you,” I tell him quietly.  
  
“It’s okay, babe,” he tells me.  
  
“Go ahead and go back to sleep, okay?”  
  
“You go to sleep too, okay?”  
  
“Alright, goodnight,”  
  
“Night.”  
  
With that, his eyes close once again and he’s snoring. I smile and wrap my arms around him and pull him as close to me as possible.  
  
I start to think about the past few weeks, the weeks I’ve been here. I had to go through a decent amount of bullshit, but hey, it was worth it! I mean, I met Ben, Sam, Cam, Drooms, Raeven, Logan, and Ariel! Ms. King’s really great, too!  
  
Some of the worst things that’s ever happened to me has happened because I moved here, but it was worth it.  
  
Because I also got the best thing that’s ever happened to me,  
  
Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and with that, i have completed this fic for the second time, yet i'm still emotional from it. the original fic had a sequel, but the plot kinda has me... no. but if i ever manage to come up with something i can handle, i'll write it for you guys :^)  
> thank you guys so much <3

**Author's Note:**

> follow my Tumblr for information and news about this story and any others I have :)  
> oohyaychicken.tumblr.com


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